That Writing Lark
by SkulduggeryFan
Summary: So, Val's writing?
1. Chapter 1

_**That writing lark…**_

Valkyrie was sitting at a typewriter, scratching her head. "Hey!" Uncle Gordon shouted. "Get away from my typewriter!"

"Calm down. I'm gonna have a go at that writing lark you were so into."

He tilted his head. "Where's Stephanie?"

"Right here, just underneath Valkyrie."

Gordon laughed. "Don't give me any of that, Oo, I'm Valkyrie Cain and I'm so big and tough, act."

Valkyrie laughed. "Shu'up, Gordon."

"Touchy, touchy."

"Says the talking Echo Stone."

"…Touché, young one, touché."

"You're not Yoda."

"Or am I?"

"No."

"Oo, the force is strong with this one it is."

Val and Gordon burst out into an up roar of laughter. Valkyrie loved spending time with her Uncle like this. She didn't get too much, mind you. She was still tracking down Tanith, Sanguine, Skulduggery and Scapegrace. Weird how they mainly begin with "S", right?

You see, Skulduggery has run off to find China Sorrows, an old friend. He didn't say anything to Valkyrie so she was left on her own to find him and drag him back before it was too late.

She still had her memories of him though, so she wanted to write about the gang and their adventures, just like her Uncle before her.

"So, how you going to start it?"

"Maybe a cheesy line."

"Oo, no. Bad idea, Steph."

"Hey, it's my story. I'll do what I want."

"Ok, ok."

_MEANWHILE, IN VALKYRIE'S STORY…_

Skulduggery was running from a horde of zombies. They begged for his brain, but he kept saying he didn't have one. He was funny like that. Valkyrie Cain, his gorgeous young companion, joined him and so did a beautiful blonde. Tanith Low, to be precise. And then a scarred gentleman followed. Elder Ghastly Bespoke. He wasn't always an Elder, but after the Elders were killed he was chosen to be one. Erskine Ravel was trailing behind the gang. Erskine was a handsome man and attracted a lot of female… attention. He was also the Grand Mage in Ireland.

"Ok, Skulduggery," Valkyrie started. "What do we do?"

"Do you even have a plan?" Tanith added.

"Well," Skulduggery said. "If you mean a plan like, a plan that doesn't involve us being ripped to shreds by zombies, then no."

"Oh." Valkyrie sighed.

"Split up!" Ghastly shouted. "They can't follow us all!"

We all agreed and Tanith and Ghastly went left. Val and Skulduggery went right, and Ravel went forwards. About half of them followed Ghanith (Ghastly and Tanith) and the others followed Valduggery (Skulduggery and Valkyrie.) Ravel was left standing around panting, pretty chuffed he hadn't enough brains to be important.

_BACK IN REAL LIFE…_

"How's it going?" Gordon peered over her shoulder.

"Fine, fine."

"Gorgeous young companion? You need to make this believable, Steph."

"Oi!"

They started laughing again.

"It's a compliment on your imagination!"

"Thanks, Gordon. Thanks."

"But you captured Skulduggery's arrogance perfectly."

"I know." Val grinned.

_BACK IN THE STORY, AGAIN…_

Tanith and Ghastly ran into an abandoned warehouse. They hid behind a burnt old sofa, although they knew the zombies could smell them. Tanith readied her sword and Ghastly his fists. Then that putrid smell of decay and death filled their nostrils. They were here.

Blood splatted up the walls and all over our two brave heroes. They beat all the zombies obviously.

"Well…" Ghastly said.

"That was fun." Tanith concluded.

"Come on, Babe." Ghastly put his arm around Tanith and they walked out of the warehouse caked head to toe in blood.

_BACK TO REALITY YET AGAIN…_

"Seems creativity runs in the blood, eh Steph?"

She nodded. "Well, it's a better story than your last one."

"Hey, Decade of the Elders was a gooden!"

"Yeah, all the Elders were killed and Tanith was fantasising about a certain Gordon Edgly now she was single."

"Well, what can I say? A man has his dreams."

"Bu you're not a man. You're like a _hologram._"

"Same difference."

"Different similarities."

_STORY TIME WITH VALKYRIE CAIN AGAIN…_

Skulduggery was running backwards with his gun pointed at the horde.

_Bang, bang, bang._

A few stumbled. Not dead. Skulduggery grunted.

Valkyrie clicked and a spark sat in her hands. She fed it her power until it was as big as an average flame. When she was satisfied with its size, she threw it, taking out 3 or more zombies.

"You're getting too big for your boots, missy." Skulduggery commented.

Valkyrie smirked. "Says who?"

"Says me."

"Just carry on running, Skul."

"Alright, bossy boots."

They came to a dead end on a dark, fearful lane with tall plane buildings on each side of the road.

They turned slowly to find the horde drooling at them. "Hello there!" Val said. They just stared. "No speaky englishy?"

They stared.

"Ah well, Skulduggery?"

He was gone.

"Skulduggery…?"

She saw a pile of bones being ripped apart by zombies and heard screams. "SKULDUGGERY!" She ran over and beat away the zombies with various punches and kicks. Skulduggery groaned. "Skul, you alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Give me my arms and I'll fix myself up." She gave him his arm bones and he pushed them back into place, grunting all the while. She started throwing fire at the oncoming horde and then Skulduggery stood up, swaying slightly, with his gun in his hand. He gunned down the remaining zombies.

Ghastly and Tanith ambled up the alley way.

"You guys alright?"

Valkyrie and Skulduggery glanced at each other and then both said "Fine."

_BACK TO REALITY WITH GORDON AND VAL, AGAIN. YOU BORED OF SEEING THESE HEADINGS? HAH, TOO BAD, BUSTER!_

"Oo, a fight…" Gordon added.

"Mhm."

"Maybe it won't be so bad…"

"Or I could just kill everyone off brutally and make Tanith fancy you."

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you, Steph?"

"No way." She scoffed. Gordon sighed.

"Guess I deserve that. What's going to happen next?"

"No idea."

"Aha, that's how all the best stories are written."

"Just because you were _drunk _while writing your first best seller?"

"Of course!"

_STORY-LAND TIME AGAIN_

Valkyrie, Tanith and Skulduggery stood side by side in the Sanctuary. Ghastly was in his official position and Ravel was in his place too. No-one liked the other Elder. Lady something-or-other from the spidie order or whatever it's called.

"What's your wish, Pleasant?"

"To track down the bad guys, bring them back, be a renowned detective and look dashing while doing it all."

Tanith and Valkyrie glanced at each other with grins on their faces. Skulduggery glared at them.

"Well, I can't help with the dashing bit," Erskine said. "But I know where Scapegrace is hiding out, if you're up to it."

"Nah," Tanith said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "We've survived gods and everything and we can't even take out an old zombie past his sell by date."

Valkyrie was trying unbelievably hard not to laugh.

"Now now, Tanith. I know you feel nostalgic that you don't have the skills you use to but you don't have to take it out on the rest." A cheesy grin was playing on Ravel's lips.

Tanith glared at him.

"We're going to be off now."

"He's in the old orphanage on Twin-row street."

"Thanks."

And they left.

_REALITY:_

"Erskine is a bit formal, isn't he?"

"My story, my choice."

"Ok, Ok."

"What should I add in next?"

"A mystery of some sorts?" Gordon started pacing up and down the study.

"Hmm…"

"Like… Maybe when they find Scapegrace he-"

"Kills the Elders and starts fancying Tanith."

"Stephanie…" Gordon sighed.

"Sorry, sorry."

_STORY:_

They made their way to the orphanage. It gave Tanith the shivers. Kids running round screaming like maniacs… and now it was a decapitated old building with creaky doors and broken floorboards. Oh well. "Ladies first." Skulduggery said, and gestured to Valkyrie.

"Age before beauty." Valkyrie said, gesturing to Tanith. Tanith glared at her.

Tanith really wasn't happy about the whole abandoned orphanage thing. She broke a window and clambered inside, the pieces of broken glass snagging her leather coat. "Ok, Scapegrace!" She shouted. "Hurry up and show yourself, so we can kick your ass and then get out of here."

Scapegrace walked out into a dimly lit area on a platform, with snake like stairs curling up and round to it. Scapegrace had his head down and he was grinning.

_Why was he so happy?_

A zombie horde faced the heroic trio and Valkyrie tugged on Skulduggery's coat.

"What do we do now?" She whispered.

"We fight."

He started hurling fireballs at the horde, taking down two or three at a time. Valkyrie put on her necromancer ring and it grew cold on her finger. The death and decay transformed itself into power and flooded into her. She sent a wave of darkness into the horde, and a few went flying. Most of the stumbled, but at least it gave them space to breath. Her boot impacted with a zombie, and it fell into one behind it. They fell like dominos. Ghastly was smashing his fist into the faces of the zombies, making their bones break audibly.

_Not too bright, are they?_

Tanith had her sword out and we slicing the zombies that ran at her in half, quite litterly.

However, even with their heroic attempts, they we're still outmatched. Massively.

And eventually, they got surrounded.

_REALITY YET AGAIN:_

"Anyone going to die in your story?"

"…I don't think so. Maybe Erskine for being too cocky."

Gordon laughed. "You're so nice, Steph."

"And so are you, Uncle."

"I know I am."

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh. Well. Runs in the family."

"Course it does."

"Mhm, that's why you're my favourite niece."

"Only niece."

"Well, now you're my only niece."

"Hey, remember when you met Skulduggery?"

"Ah, yes… At the bar… I think I was sick on his shoes."

"Mhm."

"Ah. Awkward."

"Yup."

_STORY:_

Skulduggery glared up at Scapegrace, or at least everyone thought he was glaring. He could have been giving him puppy dog eyes. "Scapegrace, what do you want?"

"Revenge."

"For…?"

"Thrasher."

"For…?"

"His death."

"We didn't kill Thrasher."

"You might as well have!"

Scapegrace's hands curled into fists by his side and they shook with anger.

"Oh please, do tell." Tanith said, looking a zombie beside her up and down in disgust and then back to Scapegrace.

"He went to the Sanctuary for me-"

"So, you killed Thrasher?" Valkyrie laughed.

"No, let me finish, foolish girl!"

"Foolish..! I could take you out right now if I wanted!"

"Then why don't you?"

She looked at Skulduggery pleadingly. "Plleeaassee?"

"No."

"Come on, Skul! I can take him!"

"I need answers, Val. No-one touches Mr. StinkyZombie."

"HEY!" Scapegrace screeched. "As I was saying, he went to the Sanctuary for me. The idiot forgot he couldn't just walk in the front door. The Cleavers took him away, and I haven't seen him since!"

Valkyrie glanced at Tanith by her side and Tanith glanced back while Ghastly, who was behind Skulduggery, and Skulduggery did the same. (They basically looked like a diamond…). They all burst out laughing.

"Oh come on, Scapey! I can call you that, right?" Valkyrie giggled.

"No!" Scapegrace screamed, enraged.

"Well, if you have a ZOMBIE enter the SANCTUARY, might not be taken too kindly!" Chuckled Ghastly.

"SHUT UP, BESPOKE!" Scapegrace bellowed. Ghastly was taken back at the rage Scapegrace was feeling.

"If it makes you happy, I'll twist a few arms and get him released."

"You would do that? For me?" Scapegrace's eyes were wide and hopeful.

"If I get out of this alive."

"Horde! Stand down!"

The horde looked at him unsure.

"I said stand down." He growled, and they obeyed him.

Valkyrie grew tenser for surely, if Ghastly didn't get Thrasher free, Scapegrace would hunt them down, and she knew what rage could do to people. Take Skulduggery, for example. He had his family killed right in front of him, and then was killed himself. However, anger that bubbled in his inner soul brought him back, or that's what the gang figured. Skulduggery never talked about it, or if he did, he said as little as he could get away with.

"Be back here with Thrasher, tomorrow at midnight." Scapegrace threatened through gritted teeth.

"Sure thing."

_BACK TO REALITY, UNFORTUNATLY:_

"Scapegrace is way more serious than usual." Gordon commented.

"Well, you know, I'm thinking of Scapegrace as a puppy. Desperate for his pal."

"Ah, good thinking my young one."

"Are you Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm Luke Skywalker?"

"I was thinking more I'm your Skulduggery and you're my Valkyrie."

Valkyrie glared at him, and felt like ripping that stone to pieces. She just turned back to the typewriter and began thumping on the keys.

_THAT WAS A PRETTY SHORT REALITY, WASN'T IT? OH WELL! BACK TO STORY WORLD/LAND THING:_

Skulduggery paced up and down the marble white Sanctuary corridor, his shoes making an annoying kind of clicking noise.

"Stop pacing."

"No."

"Why?"

"I like pacing."

"I don't."

"Sure..." His voice dripped with sarcasm.

"For your information, I don't even like you."

Skulduggery stopped pacing and turned to stare her straight in the eyes.

"Is that true now?"

Valkyrie raised her head to the roof, crossed her arms and sat back in the white uncomfortable chair.

"Yes."

"Now now, Cain-"

"JUST SHUT UP, PLEASANT!" Yelled Val.

Skulduggery was taken back slightly by the sudden outburst of aggression.

"Valkyrie, what's on your mind?" He took a seat next to her and leant forwards, leaning on his arms and turning his skull to face her.

She didn't look at him. She just sulked.

"Valkyrie…"

"Go away, Skulduggery. Just get out of my face for one minute."

He paused. "No."

"Well at least shut up."

"No."

"Stop talking."

"No."

"STOP. TALKING. RIGHT. NOW!" She screamed, and with a flick of her arm she sent a wave of darkness into him. He flew back into the wall and his scream was deafening. Valkyrie jumped up, shocked. Ghastly poked his head out of the door next to the chairs and looked at Val, and then at Skulduggery.

He stopped screaming and his head lowered.

"…Skulduggery?" Valkyrie whispered. "Skulduggery are you… are you alive?"

_Nothing._

She began to walk up to him, taking slow and cautious steps, ducking her head to see the dark holes he had for eyes. She wasn't far from him now.

"Skulduggery?" She gasped.

He jumped up out at her and she screamed, flailing and falling back. An uproar of laughter could be heard from his ribcage. Ghastly went back to his business, chuckling lowly.

"A classic!"

The rage bubbled inside of her, tempting her to pop. She pushed Skulduggery violently against the crystal white wall and he whacked his head off it.

"Ow." He rubbed his skull.

"YOU B-"

"Val, calm down. It was just a joke."

"A JOKE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" She shoved him again, he whacked his head. Again.

"Ow."

"SKULDUGGERY YOU'RE A SELF OBSESSED TWAT!"

She stormed back to her chair mumbling and sat sideways, facing away from him.

"Look, I'm sorry…" He walked up to her and sat on the white chair beside her. She glanced over her shoulder then faced forwards.

"It was only a jo-"

Ghastly walked out.

"Oh boy, what's happened now?"

"Val won't understand my humour."

"No-one understands your humour, Skul."

"…Agreed, but still."

Valkyrie glared up at Ghastly.

"Stop cracking jokes about my sense of humour and tell me what happened, Bespoke." She hissed.

"Fine, they won't let him go."

"Why not?"

"Val, he's a ZOMBIE. He's been working as the Killer Supreme's right hand… zombie."

"Call him Scapegrace. He's not a Killer Supreme."

"Okay then. We have a problem."

"Is that so?"

"It's 9 o'clock."

"Only 3 hours…" Said Skulduggery, suddenly realising.

"Not enough time to bust him out with a proper plan."

"We need more time."

"Indeed. Or just forget the plan part."

"Skulduggery, you can't just break into the Sanctuary."

"Why can't he?" Valkyrie sighed. "We need to get Scapegrace off our case, so why can't he?"

"It's too danger-"

"Never stopped him before, did it?"

"…True."

"So, we're busting him out."

"That seems so."

_SUPER ETHICAL REALITY (SR3 QUOTE -):_

"Boy, I annoyed you…"

Val stared at the typewriter before her. She had thumped the keys so hard her fingers hurt. It was a good make, looked a little rusted. It had the name "Gordon Edgly" written in worn off pen on the side. It was a dark green metal with black splodges dotted around.

"Yes, you annoyed me. Now I have to get Skulduggery out of a possibly very nasty ending."

"Maybe Thrasher escaped on his own."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Well… Maybe he was gone and left a riddle to his location only the smartest of the smartest could figure out!"

"Not a bad idea…"

"Mhm."

"But no, Thrasher's too stupid."

Gordon paused. "True."

Val allowed her head to fall backwards making her face the celling while she let out an annoyed sigh.

"Sorry 'bout what I said, Steph. I didn't mean to offend you."

"It's fine."

"You know I just forgot what I was saying and…"

"It's fine, let it go."

"Okay. You sure?"

"It's fine."

"Just making sure. So how's your dad lately?"

An idea hit Valkyrie.

_STORY:_

Valkyrie was at home getting ready to bust Thrasher out. She was just polishing her black boots when her parents swung the door open and she didn't have time to hide the magic items she had acquired through the years.

"…STEPHANIE EDGL- Wait, what's that?" Her dad asked.

"Ah, Dad, Mom. Hi."

They glared at the ring on her finger and the black clothes then her.

"Stephanie, dear. What's going on?" Her mom sat on her bed beside her.

"Well, you see… uhh… This is kind of awkward…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, chapter two… Enjoy! Starts in her story.**

Her dad glared at her ring. "Necromancy…"

Valkyrie looked up at her dad, thinking she misheard. "Necromancy?"

"You're a necromancer? I thought you were an elemental with Skulduggery."

"Y-You know him…?" Valkyrie gasped.

"From your Uncle's stories."

"…You know about magic?"

"Well, of course, Steph." He said, surprised. "What's your taken name, by the way?"

"V-Valkyrie… Cain…" She said slightly dazed at the whole situation.

"Ah, I remember mine… Jake Lloyd."

"Jake Lloyd? What are you talking about, Desmond?" Her mother gasped. "Your taken name was Jake Silva, I was Josephine Lloyd."

Valkyrie started at her mother wide eyed.

"You know too?"

"Sure, dear."

"Why didn't any of you tell me?"

Her dad shrugged it off casually. "Didn't think you knew."

"Well, I'm Valkyrie Cain! I've been working with a detective at the Sanctuary and defeated the faceless ones with the Sceptre of the Ancients!"

"I know."

"How?"

"We've heard about your adventures, lil' missy!" Her dad intruded.

"How?"

"You're pretty notorious in the magic world."

Valkyrie flipped her phone out sneakily and dialled Skulduggery's number. She text him:

_Skul, parents know, save me, wear façade. Oh, and don't forget the coffee and doughnuts for the stake out._

"Is being notorious a good thing?" She gasped.

"Well, it depends." Her dad sighed. "If you've been hanging around with Mr Pleasant, it's probably a bad thing. I forbid you to see him ever again!"

"Dad-"

"No Val, you've got Sanguine and Scapegrace and everyone like that after you! You're going to be _killed!_"

The words echoed in her ears. _Killed._ They may be right but she knew that she would one day _kill_ them. Skulduggery climbed up to the window and knocked on it.

_Finally, he took his time! _

Valkyrie went to open the window when it locked.

"Huh…?" She looked at her dad.

"Desmond, let her go." Scorned her mom.

"No!" Desmond said.

"Desmond…"

"…Fine!"

The window unlocked and she opened it. Skulduggery vaulted inside and then stared at her parents. He had forgotten his façade. "…Skulduggery!" She elbowed him.

"Ow."

Her parents didn't seem dazed or even slightly surprised. Her dad came up to shake his hand.

"You, Skulduggery Pleasant, you take care of my daughter."

He nodded his head.

"I will, Jake."

Valkyrie glared at Skulduggery. "YOU KNEW TOO?"

"Course I did. I know everything."

"Skulduggery! I think you should have told me the fact MY PARENTS ARE MAGIC AND CALLED JAKE AND JOSEPHINE!" She screeched.

"Josephine?" He glanced at her mother. "Oh." She went and kissed Josephine's hand. "Ma'am."

Valkyrie just kept glaring at him.

_REALITY:_

"Like my idea?"

"Brilliant. You know your dad does know about magic, right? In the back of his mind."

"Yeah, I know." She sighed. "I wish I could just run up to them and remind them."

"While putting them in mortal peril."

"Yep."

Valkyrie sighed.

"Val, they'll remember in their own time."

"I know…"

"Don't have to be depressed about it."

"I'm not. I'm just thinking."

"About Pleasant?"

Valkyrie nodded slowly. "I mean, what was he thinking? Going after China on his own?"

She growled under her breath. "I thought we were a team, me and him. Partners in crime, companions for life and then he does this!"

"Steph, calm down!"

"No!" She screeched. "I can't just calm down!"

"I think we should continue this later…"

"No, writing is about expressing your feelings, isn't it?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean…"

"If I'm feeling like this it'll make my writing even better."

"…I guess so, better get to it, then Steph."

_STORY:_

Valkyrie was back at the warehouse on her own. Skulduggery had said it was too dangerous. The warehouse was dark and damp. The walls were solid concrete with pealing black paint. It looked like a jail cell but with an open archway in the middle.

"Who does he think he is! I'm the infamous Valkyrie Cain! I can handle a break out! I've done it plenty of times before!"

She smashed her fist into a wall, sighed and fell into a sofa which was burnt from some sort of fire. Probably magic related.

"Why does he have to ditch me here? I was the one who wanted the coffee and doughnuts." She sulked. Scapegrace popped his head round the archway. "Oi, Cain. Might wanna see this."

He gestured her to follow. He led her to a room with all sorts of T.V screens. Old and new, big and small. On all of them, there was a news channel. Magical version, though. Reporting instances in the World of Magic.

"Breaking news, top Detective, Skulduggery Pleasant, from the Sanctuary in Ireland was found in a cage trying to break free. No one knows how this may have happened but Elder Bespoke is here to explain-" Scapegrace turned the off.

"You planned this, didn't you?" Asked Valkyrie.

Scapegrace smirked with his head down, making the shadows collapse over him in a menacing way.

"Indeed I did, Miss Cain. You're not as smart as you look."

"So, what would you have done when me, Skulduggery and Ghastly were in a cage?"

"Taken over."

"Yeah, right. Cleavers, remember?"

"Hmph, so little faith, Cain…"

She turned to realise the whole zombie army behind her. "Ah… I see…" She mumbled. "Strength in numbers."

"Indeed."

"What are you going to do now you're plan's fallen apart?"

"Oh, Cain, you have me mistaken. Pleasant played right into my hands, and now? I have a captive."

"Oh, heck no."

She bolted through the horde for the archway. The rug underneath her feet slid backwards reluctantly and her feet came out from under her. She landed flat on her face, groaning. A rotting, devious face smirked above her, guiltily. Then everything went black.

_REALITY:_

"A mystery! Oh, how I love mysteries!"

Valkyrie laughed. "You haven't written a mystery book for years!"

"I was planning on one, but there is too much death and destruction in our cruel world for light arrogance of detectivery and magic."

"You need to get writing again or become the new Shakespeare."

Gordon laughed sarcastically. "Says the Queen of Necromancy and magic."

"Whatever, Gordon!" Valkyrie made a W with her fingers.

"Oh yeah? Look what I can do!" Gordon ran through a wall and then ran back. "Hmph!"

"Oh yeah? I could destroy the Echo Stone! Would you like that, Gordon? Really?"

Gordon laughed. "Not really, no."

"Good."

"Were you planning to destroy the stone keeping me here?"

Valkyrie made an inaudible sound.

"Mayyybe…" She concluded.

"Or maybe not?"

"To be, or not to be-"

"To be. I'd like to be. I'd like to exist."

"That's what that quote means? Is it better to exist or not exist?"

"Yup."

"Damn."

"What?"

"I've just lost a bet."

_STORY:_

Skulduggery was going out of his mind. He had played right into Scapegrace's rotting hands. He left her with him and now look what's happened! She's missing! Skulduggery paced up and down the white sanctuary corridor yet again. The same spot where he scared Val witless. He sighed impatiently and slumped down in a white uncomfortable chair.

Ghastly walked out of the white door beside the chairs. Skulduggery stood slowly. "Any news?" He asked. Ghastly shook his head, like trying to shake shock off his mind. "He's got her… He sent a picture…" Ghastly gestured Skulduggery to follow into the room. He wandered up to a computer on a desk and clicked a few icons. Suddenly, a picture of Valkyrie popped up, beaten and tied to a chair. She had a nose bleed and seemed to be unconscious with her head lying weakly on her left shoulder. "…Wow." Skulduggery sighed. He shook his head. "We've got to save her, Ghastly."

"Too dangerous, Skul."

"This is VALKYRIE!"

"Yes, but we don't know where they are!"

"Track it."

"Huh?"

"Track the photo."

"But I-"

"Get a guy from IT Support in to do it."

"I don't know if they can do that…"

"Sure they can."

"How?"

"Tracking for dummies? You're an Elder! You've got the whole of Ireland's magic community at your feet."

"True…" Ghastly nodded and sighed. "She's going to be alright, Skulduggery. Trust me. As you said, this is Valkyrie, we're talking about."

Skulduggery hesitated. "I know…"

"She's not like your daughter. I know that's the way you see her, a little kid that needs protecting. She's not."

Skulduggery sighed. "You're good at detective work. You want my job?"

Ghastly laughed, slightly sour.

"And I know how you see Tanith." Skulduggery remarked. "A beautiful, strong woman. She's not."

Ghastly shot him a cold glare. "Skulduggery, don't."

"Why? You know what I feel about Val, so why don't you know what you feel about Tanith?"

"I know what I feel about her."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. She's an amazing person. But she's not that person anymore, and I'm going to fix her."

"You sure about that, Bespoke?" Skulduggery walked forwards, backing Ghastly against the wall and lowering his voice menacingly. He put his hand on the wall by Ghastly's head, leaning in closely like trying to intimidate him. "Are you sure you can fix her? She's not Tanith anymore. She's a thing. Just a thing." Skulduggery smirked.

Ghastly pushed him away. "I'm sure. If you want help, you need to respect me."

They walked out the door and parted ways.

_REAL LIFE:_

"Yeeeoowch!" Gordon said. "Cat fight!"

Valkyrie giggled. "Meow!" She made a hissing noise.

They both started laughing. "So, is that based on real life or…?"

"No." Valkyrie cut him off. "Tanith's recovering in hospital… with that thing."

"Nye?"

"Yeah… I don't trust it with my sister."

"I don't trust it point blank."

"I'm the one who should have the trust issues, Gordon. It did cut the whole front of me open and tried to experiment on my heart."

"…Good point."

"Should I include it in Scapegrace's mischievous plan?"

"It could make it interesting."

"Well, yeah…"

_STORY:_

Ghastly and Skulduggery had got on Mason's case again. Mason seemed to always have some kind of inside knowledge on everything going on, meaning he must have known something whereas our heroes knew absolutely naught. Mason was leaning on a moss covered brick wall by a bridge going over a murky river, playing on some kind of phone or gaming devise. A hot unknown blonde female (Well, unknown to him. We know her as Tanith Low.) approached him. He was wearing a dark leather biking jacket and jeans which were torn purposely to give that dangerous and daring look.

"Hey." Tanith nodded to him, taking a place beside him. He looked up at her and nodded back.

"Hey. What's a girl like you doing out on a night like this?"

"Hmph, I'm not no ordinary lil' lady, buster, you watch your mouth."

"Oh really?" His cheeky smile turned into a grin.

"Yeah." Tanith pushed her hands in her trouser pockets, forcing her coat back while also revealing a glimmering blade with a hilt by her side. She smirked.

"I see…"

"Hey, have you heard about that Cain incident?"

"Yeah, apparently she's right under the Sanctuary's noses."

"What, underground?"

"Kinda. Apparently Nye's taken them underground to Sanguine's place so no-one can find them. They were all in on it. Nye wants Cain's body, Scapegrace wants her dead and Sanguine wants some Tanith Low lady back."

Her face became clouded and worried.

"You alright, lady?"

"Yes, yes. Fine." She beamed. "Good night to you, Mason."

She began to walk into the darkness, although she knew that Mason would question after her.

"Oi! Lady! How do you know who I am?"

She stopped.

"My name isn't lady." She turned slowly, facing him while posing slightly. "My name is Tanith Low. I'm from London. I've been working with Detective Pleasant and Miss Cain. My boyfriend is Elder Bespoke. I was a remnant when I dated Sanguine, and now I'm fixed."

Mason stared, his jaw just scratching the floor. "So you-"

"Used you to get answers. Yes."

"You could have just asked."

"Where does asking get a girl like me out on a night like this?" She nodded politely, smirking all the while, as she turned back and wandered off into the night.

_REALITY:_

"Nicely done! But tell me, how is Tanith back?"

"I'm gonna have to think about that one."

"Mhm. Rage writing. Bad idea."

"Hey, I wasn't in rage mode!"

"Alright…"

"So, is it mysterious enough yet?"

"Not yet."

"More mystery?"

"Yes please."


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry guys, I took a long break from writing cause my school stuff was catching up on me. Anyways, let's continue. Starting in the story:**

Tanith glared at Skulduggery as she grasped Ghastly's hand.

"I don't trust her." Skulduggery sighed, crossing his arms.

"You shouldn't. After we get Valkyrie back, I'm gone." Tanith said, plain and simply.

Ghastly glanced between them both. "Please, guys."

"I do not trust _her._"

"I do not trust _him._"

"Guys!"

"What!" They said, in sync with each other.

"She might turn back into the remnant!" Skulduggery seemed to plead.

"You can try and kill each other after! We need to find Val." Ghastly said.

Tanith nodded slowly, still glaring at Skulduggery.

"Plan?" Ghastly questioned, glancing at Skulduggery.

"What plan?" Skulduggery chuckled.

Ghastly's face turned into a worried mess. "Oh boy."

"Look, just grab Val and go." Tanith concluded.

She clicked her phone a few times, calling an old friend of hers.

"'Ello lil' darlin'." The voice said.

_Sanguine._

"I'm sorry for running off like that. I just needed some air, babe. Take me back?"

His hesitation was obvious.

"Come to the warehouse. I'll pick you up there."

She flicked the phone down and glanced at the others, nodding.

_REALITY:_

"Ah, the big fight?"

"Yep!"

"Hah, can't wait!"

"Anyways…"

"Hm?" He walked over and sat on the cushioned chair, leaning on his thighs in a physiatrist's fashion.

Valkyrie hesitated momentarily. "Where'd you think… they… are?"

"China and Skulduggery? Ah, don't worry about them, Steph, they'll be fine."

"I know but…"

"They'll be fine."

She sighed.

She missed him so badly, his comforting and secure embrace. He shouldn't have left her here just to sit here and type. She needed to find him but until they had any leads she couldn't go to work.

_STORY:_

"Baby, I've missed you so much these past few days!" Tanith exclaimed, pulling the admittedly slightly dazed man into a warm embrace.

"I've missed you too, babe." He said, relaxing back into her whilst wrapping his arms around her. "Your carriage awaits lil' darlin'. Wanna go see your old pal Val?"

Tanith grinned devilishly, whereas her mind raced ahead, planning what she would do and how she would get Valkyrie away.

Sanguine sank slowly and cautiously into the ground. Dirt flew past the duo when suddenly…

_CLANG!_

Sanguine's face turned a shade of red, as Tanith looked down. He'd hit a sheet of metal, most probably part of a bigger underground structure.

"OPEN UP!" He screamed.

The sheet of metal seemed to whirr and retract into the dirt.

Sanguine and Tanith dropped down.

"Where are we?" Tanith said, dazed and confused.

"An underground metal bubble, love."

"A metal bubble? What if they're a fire or a flood!"

"Don't worry, lil' darlin', we thought of that. There's this secret hatch, right here, ya see?" He crouched and gestured to an outline going deeper into the ground."

"A set o' tunnels under 'ere. Leads back to that warehouse."

Tanith looked at Sanguine, admirably. "Well done, babe."

"Aww, thank you honey. Shall we go see Nye, Scapey and Val?"

She nodded, smiling. Sanguine grasped her hand gently and lead her on. Another part of the magnificent bubble opened up, revealing...

_That thing and her._

Valkyrie was attached to a shining metal testing chair with pieces of leather wrapped around her pale naked body, holding her in place and her was face blank and devoid of all life. Nye was what seemed to be hunched over her, making cuts and notes on how her body worked. She couldn't really tell as it wasn't human.

"Wow…" Tanith gasped.

"Our friend Nye 'ere has been busy takin' your old pal apart."

Tanith stared, zoned out. How could she get Valkyrie back together? What would Ghastly do if she couldn't? Or, more importantly, what would Pleasant do to her if he found his partner in crime in pieces?

She shook her head, scattering her thoughts only to re-gather them later.

"Is Nye going to put her back together?" She whispered, minding her tone of voice.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'll ask." Sanguine pulled away from Tanith and walked over to the thing called Nye, strong arms and standing straight. "'Ay, Nye," He spoke like an authoritive man, as if addressing a subject or servant. It was obvious Nye did not like being spoken to in that tone of voice. "Are you going to be putting poor Miss Cain here back together?"

"Why should I?" He snapped back, immediately, what were most probably its eyes gleaming with the shine of the metal bubble. "She tried to kill me and then ran out of my reach. She deserves to be in pieces."

Tanith felt an urge in the depths of her stomach, trying to punch its way free. It felt terrible. It was taking control her and it wouldn't leave her alone.

She proceeded forwards, punching the living daylights out of Nye. She cursed his name a million times. A sigh was heard from behind of her. _Click._

_Sanguine was aiming. Sanguine was aiming at __**her.**_

She froze to the spot.

"One more punch- no, one more step and I will fire!" The anger strived in his voice. "I thought you came back for me, babe! I thought you wanted to be together!" He was almost in tears.

"I'm sorry…" She mumbled. Guilt hit her like a knife in the heart. It darted around her body, making it pulsate.

He glared at her. "I knew… I knew you wouldn't come back for me!" He bellowed, tears rolling down the side of his face. The gun shook in his hands allowing the soft but terrible rattling of the chamber and bullets float to her ears. "You… You don't care a-about lil' old Sanguine, do ya! You never did! It's only that god damn Bespoke in your head…" His voice trailed off slowly. "Why?"

Her mind was as blank as blondes should be. She never intended to hurt him… This reminded her of Valkyrie's situation with Fletcher before. She didn't want to hurt him on purpose but… She did…

_She needed to get the guys here! Now!_

She turned and sighed. "Sanguine, I-"

"NO! NOT ONE WORD!" He screamed. "I LOVED YOU, TANITH! This is how you repay me?" He dropped the gun and fell to his knees in utter despair. His heart ached and his gut twisted into funny positions.

_I was never good enough for her. All's lost for me now... _His thoughts taunted him.

"I'm sorry, Sanguine." She ambled to the distraught man before her. She knelt at his side, resting her hand on his shoulder. "I really did love you at some point…. But… I…" She trailed off, curiously. "I guess I don't know… I'm sorry."

Suddenly, a certain skeleton detective and Elder vaulted through the escape hatch in the floor. Skulduggery's bones made an awful racket against the shining steel. They gasped for air, then rising to their feet and taking up arms. Their faces seemed troubled and shrouded with confused feelings as they saw Nye shivering in the corner, begging for mercy, Tanith with Sanguine on the floor crying and Valkyrie on a testing table naked and in pieces.

_In… Pieces!_

Skulduggery made a horrendous war cry as he made his way over to Nye. Nye cowered in the corner, begging for his life whereas Skulduggery was screaming at him, letting all hell break loose and all heavens unleash their fury on Nye.

It was terrified, poor thing. Skulduggery demanded over and over he put her together again but Nye was too busy sobbing into what they thought were his hands and quaking in fear.

Ghastly stood, looking sheepish and pale, glaring at Tanith whom was comforting Sanguine.

_Well, my chances were down the drain anyway with that thing inside her… Skulduggery was right. _His thoughts seemed to mock him, leaving him desperate to grab Sanguine by the neck and rip him to pieces. Ghastly set his mind to looking for Scapegrace. He was no-where in sight. Dumb zombies.

"No sign of Scapegrace." He sighed.

"NYE YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU PUT VALKYRIE BACK TOGETHER NOW!" Ghastly overheard Skulduggery screaming.

"P-P-Please! I-I don't wanna die! Not yet! Not now!" Nye pleaded.

"Sanguine, I'm sorry… I'm with Ghastly now…" Tanith comforted.

"You never loved me! You never did!" Sanguine shoved her attempts to comfort him right back in her face.

Ghastly could sense how his heart had shattered into a million billion pieces by now. Poor bloke.

_LIFE:_

"Drama!" Gordon chuckled. "It's like watching Eastenders at Christmas!"

"What? Skulduggery's Phil Mitchel, I'm Roxy, Tanith's Ronnie… Like that?"

"Yeah, but hyped up!"

"Is that possible!"

"Probably" He giggled. "violence and arrogance. Perfect blend for the Skulduggery Pleasant cocktail!"

"So, I should start thinking about the ending, shouldn't I?"

"Bit short…"

"No, I mean so I know what I'm writing and who I kill off."

"Oh, makes sense."

Gordon stood and started to pace the wooden floor yet again. He put his hand to his chin and rubbed it. "Is Skulduggery going to die?"

"No!"

"Tanith?"

"No…"

"…Ghastly?"

"Nah."

"China?"

"She's not even in this story!"

"..Good point."

They both paused for a minute, considering how they should go about things.

"Erskine?"

"Maybe…"

Valkyrie re-thought.

"I think Scapegrace, Sanguine and Nye should die. You know, in the final stand-off."

"Hm… Good idea."

There was a knock on the study door.

"Uncle, make yourself scarce!"

The door flew open and who should be standing there but a woman, whose un-natural beauty would blow the mind of any man, woman or child.


	4. Chapter 4

"China!" Hissed Valkyrie. "What do you want?"

"I-I need a hideout…"

"What? You come for help off of me?"

"I-It's the only place I could think of!"

Her eyes were barely open and her outfit was torn, stained in scarlet. She was in a beautiful red dress, black designer heels and her hair was in a bun at the back of her head. Her hair was the opposite of neat, splayed out and unkept. She obviously hadn't had time to change before Skulduggery came after her.

She fell forwards, making a large _BANG_ as she hit the floor.

Valkyrie ran to her side, suddenly worried.

"China?"

China groaned, flexing her left hand. "I'm okay, sweetie. I'm okay."

Valkyrie stood straight. She didn't need feelings for China. China had betrayed Skulduggery in such a way no-one could ever forgive her with any amount of ease at all.

China clambered to her feet, inspecting her tattered clothing.

"…Anything spare?"

"I have ordinary clothes in my dresser. I don't think I'm your size."

"Not to worry."

China disappeared up the stairs whereas Gordon reappeared beside Valkyrie.

"China?"

"Yeah…"

"If China's here-"

"-Skulduggery has to be here too. I know."

"What're you gonna do?"

"As said by some old twat, keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer."

Gordon smiled, nodding. "Better make myself scarce again, right?"

"Right."

China wondered downstairs, wearing an old pair of purposely ripped jeans and a short-sleeved top. Her hair flowed down onto her left shoulder. Her un-natural beauty still went un-dampened, though.

"China, you know this is going to be the first place he looks."

"Actually, it won't be." She sat on the chair, opposite the sofa Valkyrie had placed herself on. "Skulduggery knows you would try to instantly kick me out or kill me, so I would stay away."

"Very clever."

"Indeed."

They sat in a few moments of silence.

"Well, what're you going to do?"

"Pleasant won't look here until he needs to. He knows he'll be putting you and the baby in danger."

"I can look after myself."

"That's not how he sees it."

"Pffft!" Valkyrie pushed herself up off the sofa and started pacing. "What happens when he does look here? I know him, China, he'll look here eventually."

"I'll scram."

Valkyrie scowled. "What about me and my little sister?"

"I'll set up symbols around your uncle's house."

Valkyrie stopped pacing and stared straight into her eyes. Her beautiful, dark eyes.

_No! I mustn't fall into the trap of beauty again. Never again! _

She shook her head, scattering her thoughts, as Tanith did in her story, only to re-gather them later.

-A Few Days Later-

China called up her team in Ireland and they were working on the house. China had to set up symbols all over the house. High and low, even a few underground. Skulduggery was a skilled elemental and necromancer. He could get over or even disable/destroy most symbols, and that's why she had her most skilled symbolists on the job but even they saw the look in China's eyes. Skulduggery was going to kill her. Her time had come, and she had accepted it. She shouldn't have sold him and his family down the river like she did so now she was going to pay the price. But this was China. She always remained calm whereas Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly and Valkyrie were much more aggressive. She was still going down with a fight.

"China, he's coming!" Valkyrie yelled.

"What? So soon?"

"He's right there!" Valkyrie gestured out of the window and as she said, Skulduggery was running towards the house, scarf up high and hat tilted low.

"He's early…"

"Well, we better pack up and move ou-"

"No."

Valkyrie stopped. "What?"

"No."

"He's going to kill you!"

"I know, Val. Make sure your sister is well looked after, okay?"

"W-What? China, you don't have to do this!"

"I have known Mr Pleasant for many years now. He needs revenge, and then he can be at peace once more."

Valkyrie processed all the things China had just said as quickly as she could. Basically, she was saving Skulduggery by giving him the revenge his soul needs to move on peacefully. He would be gone and there would be no way he could come back.

China had already gone out to meet him. Skulduggery removed his glove and threw it on the ground by her old ripped trainers. A duel.

Valkyrie ran out of the door, slamming it and then running down the path minding the already set up symbols.

"China, no!"

Skulduggery barely glanced at her. He had seemed too had lost the twinkle in his eyes… He wasn't himself. He couldn't be.

He'd changed.

China had readied herself as much as she could for her slow demise.

Skulduggery clicked, summoning sparks that burst into flames of red and orange. He hurled them at her, ferociously. You would never have known those two were allies. China tapped a symbol on her forearm, summoning a shield to deflect the flames and then she ran at him, doing some kind of Kung-Fu with fancy kicks and pushes. Skulduggery deflected them all with various arm blocks adding in his own special twists by ducking and spinning or pushing her backwards with a sneaky wall of air.

Valkyrie was helpless. All she could do was watch her former friend die by the hand of her partner in crime. There must have been something she could do…

_That's it!_

Skulduggery started taunting China, saying the most horrible things. "You son of a bitch." He said. "You don't deserve to live! You never deserved to live!"

China didn't look even slightly fazed. "Coming from a talking skeleton."

Skulduggery growled and ran at her, screaming a war cry of terrible magnitude, just like her story.

"Skulduggery! I'm begging you! Put your ego and your pride away! Leave her!"

He took no notice of Valkyrie's plead.

"I know how you see Miss Sorrows, Val." He stopped, standing still with his legs apart in a strong stance. "A beautiful, strong woman. She's not."

Valkyrie recognised the way he spoke. He spoke with a sour tone, mocking yet forceful. Just like when he was speaking to Ghastly about…

_THAT'S IT! TANITH! Thank you, book!_

She pulled her phone out, dialling Tanith's number.

_Oh right. She broke her mobile. What now?_

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Skulduggery finally had the upper hand, aiming straight in-between the eyes of a certain Miss Sorrows with a revolver, like Sanguine's in her story... "You don't really care about lil' Miss Cain, do you, Pleasant? You never did."

His hand shook slightly, allowing the soft but terrible rattling of the chamber and bullets float to her ears.

Her head started to throb, images flashing into her head.

_Tanith, back turned to Sanguine._

_Sanguine aiming._

_Sanguine in tears._

_Tanith, looking depressed and thinking._

Valkyrie's brain ached, but then the idea came to her. She dialled again, but this time it was a different number.

A boy with light blonde hair appeared in the middle of Skulduggery and China. He yelped and kneeled on the floor, grasping his head.

"Not the hair! Not the hair!" He begged.

"Move, Fletcher." Skulduggery commanded.

Fletcher looked up slightly… "Val, what's going on?"

"You need to stop them, Fletch!" She exclaimed.

"Why?" He looked at Skulduggery's gun. "Oh."

He grabbed China's foot and then moments later they disappeared.

Valkyrie ran towards Skulduggery, pulling him around to face her.

She slapped him in the face, making his skull snap sideways.

"Ouch."

"What're you playing at, Skul?"

He remained silent, turning his skull to look her in the eyes. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

He glared at her. "You wouldn't understand." He growled lowly through gritted teeth.

She sighed, pacing yet again. "You wanted to get revenge for the deaths of your wife and kid – which is totally understandable – so you kill the killer. When you find out China was the one who actually caused it in the first place you get the same thirst for revenge as you did with the killer himself. Right?"

He glared at her. "It's complicated."

"What more is there to tell?" She sighed.

He growled, walking at her in a faster pace than usual. She walked backwards out of instinct, hitting the closed front door of Uncle Edgley's house. She couldn't move as Skulduggery raised his hand and slammed it on the door by her head. He leaned in, breathing heavily with anger and trying to intimidate her.

_Something strange is going on here. _She thought. _This stuff was in the book… Ghastly and Skulduggery were in exactly the same position as me and Skulduggery are now… And then, when Tanith was thinking about what happened with me and Fletcher, I had the idea to call Fletcher… Hm, so maybe, just maybe…_

Her thoughts were interrupted by Skulduggery's velvet voice flowing through her ears. "Are you sure you understand? This isn't something the ordinary face. You are just ordinary. Just ordinary." He seemed to smirk at her. His words echoed through her brain.

_Just ordinary._ She felt like she wanted to break down and cry, but she knew how to get out of this situation without making it worse for him or her.

She forcefully pushed him away. "I'm sure. If you want my help, you need to respect me."

He laughed, head down and arms lowering themselves. "Your help?"

"China. She's a good woman. All you need is revenge, right?"

"Right."

"That's not meaning you need to kill her."

He thought for a moment.

"Ruin her life," she continued "and you have your revenge. And what is her whole life?"

"…Her library…"

"Exactly."

Valkyrie turned away from him, letting her devious smile sag into a silent "Phew".

She's just saved China Sorrow's life for now.

-Another few days later-

Skulduggery was waiting outside with Valkyrie. They were waiting for Fletcher, Tanith and Ghastly in a bus stop. It was raining, as usual. Valkyrie's soaked hair dripped but stayed straight and idle, seeming to always stay perfectly still, to the untrained eye. Skulduggery took off his hat and tipped it, letting the rain curse out his name as it crashed to the pavement.

They stood in silence.

Suddenly, the roaring of a motorbike smashed the quiet atmosphere. A young boy yelping could also be heard.

Valkyrie smirked.

_Fletcher._

And sure enough, Tanith and a terrified Fletcher darted around the corner on a motorbike, Fletcher's arms suffocating Tanith's waist, his eyes tightly welded shut. Tanith smirked at Valkyrie, glancing at Fletcher and then back to Val. Skulduggery got no such warm welcome.

"Mr Pleasant." She nodded to him.

"Miss Low." He nodded back.

Valkyrie and Fletcher glanced between the both of them. They looked at each other, and Fletcher shrugged.

A few moments of awkward silence crawled past.

"Hey, where's Ghastly?" Said Valkyrie, breaking the atmosphere.

"He's got some important stuff to do at the Sanctuary."

"Elder stuff?"

"Yeah."

"So, why did you and Skulduggery just give each other a formal welcome…?"

"_**HE**_ doesn't think I'm cured."

"I just don't trust her." Sighed the detective.

_STOP USING MY STORY!_ Screamed Valkyrie's mind. She smirked, quickly thinking back to the argument they had before they were going to save her.

"Guys!"

"What?" They said, in sync.

"She might not be cured!" Whined Skulduggery.

"You can kill each other after, okay?" They both nodded slowly, glaring into each other's hate filled eyes.

"Look, just follow the plan." Tanith demanded, taking a grip on the handle of the conversation.

"What plan?" Chuckled Skulduggery, loosening her grip so to speak.

"Get in, destroy the library and get out." Valkyrie commented.

"Hey, what about me?" Said a flat haired Fletcher.

Tanith and Valkyrie grinned at him. Skulduggery pointed to his hair. He made a high pitched squealing sound as he glared in his hand mirror in his pocket. Moments later, he fainted with shock.

The whole gang started laughing, even Skulduggery.

_Ha-ha! Sucker-_

Valkyrie's head began to throb again, but this time the pain was more intense and spread around her body, rapidly. She gripped her head, grasping a few hairs and leaning on the wall of the bus shelter. She could see Tanith talking and Skulduggery's skull cocked in the way she recognised as "Concern" but it was like she was deaf…

_Please don't say I'm deaf!_ She thought. Her mind felt like it had broken into a million pieces and then twisted itself into knots. She opened her mouth to speak, but the pain intensified and quickened.

"H-Help.. me.." She tried to say. Nothing came out.

Suddenly, she collapsed, her weak legs buckling under her weight.

Skulduggery rushed to her side, shaking her arm. Tanith took her heart rate and then tried to wake her.

Her eyes closed ever so slowly.

Her heart rate dropped fast.

Her breathing stopped.


	5. Chapter 5

**Shout out to Rosalie Storm – Awesome writer and… just plain awesome! =D Hope she doesn't mind me writing this. ^_^ **

**I thought I'd make this one slightly less serious. It's a Shakespearian tactic. Go all dark and gloomy, and then add a little comedy to keep the readers… undepressed? Is that even a word? BOB! Is that a word? No? ...Oh. Aww...**

Skulduggery wrapped his bony skeletal arms around Valkyrie's pale, lifeless body. Tanith was standing, pacing the width of the bus shelter. Tears were threatening to break the barriers of her eyes but she fought them back. "She can't be dead." She muttered to herself.

"Well she is." Whispered Skulduggery.

Tanith glared at a friendship bracelet Val had gotten her. It was a get-well soon present for when she was in hospital, getting rid of the Remnant. It was black and purple. It shone in the sunlight, reflecting the golden rays onto Tanith's face. Images of the past memories with Val suddenly flashed into her mind. Going Christmas shopping, beating up the bad guys, trying on dresses, training…

A few tears escaped and dripped onto her wrist. She wiped them away immediately.

"Ghastly should know about this…"

Fletcher cried, kneeling on the wet ground rocking back and forth. "Why did she have to die?" He cried. "I loved her!"

Skulduggery and Tanith glared at him.

"…I loved Valkyrie Cain."

Silence.

"Don't refer to her in the past tense." Tanith scorned. "She's still alive."

"How is she?" Fletcher sniffed.

"…I-I don't know…"

"She has to be." Skulduggery interrupted. "She's my partner in crime. She's Valkyrie Cain. Brave, courageous, smart-"

"Don't forget gorgeous." Fletcher added, still crying his eyes out.

"-Gorgeous and… she's…" He trailed off. He didn't know what to say. He'd usually say something witty, and she'd get up. She'd wrap her warm arms around his bony ribcage and tell him she was okay, but she wasn't going to…

"Let's get her to hospital!" Tanith suddenly snapped out of her trance of regret and sadness.

Fletcher looked up at her with red puffy eyes. "I-I'll take her." He sniffed. Tanith nodded as Skulduggery let her slip out of his arms into Fletcher's, her head resting on his lap.

"Need a ride, Skul?"

Skulduggery sighed and kissed Valkyrie's cold forehead gently. "You better not be dead." He whispered. He brushed away a few strands of hair from her face.

"Let's go." He said, standing up and brushing himself down. Fletcher disappeared with a dead or dying Valkyrie and the other two climbed onto Tanith's motorbike, ready to zoom off to their friend in need.

_-Meanwhile, somewhere else-_

Valkyrie's eyes shot open, as fast as a dog chasing a rat. She jumped to her feet, making herself slightly dizzy. She was in the bus stop where she passed out or something. The rain had stopped and the sun's rays smiled down on her. Ambling away in the direction of Gordon's house, she saw the Bentley parked outside.

_Skulduggery!_

As she got closer, she saw his Bentley was… bright… PINK?

_What on earth's going on?_

Skulduggery ran out the door and stopped half way. "Val! You're back!"

"What happened to your Bentley?" She asked, dazed.

"Tanith Low." He sighed, staring at his Bentley longingly. "Apparently it was a dare from Fletcher but I don't believe her."

"So, how are you two getting on? Resolved your differences now?"

"…She still might turn back into that THING." He growled.

"Oh come on. She was cured in hospital. She's fine!"

"…Hospital? What're you talking about? She forced that thing out herself with help from Bespoke, remember?"

_No, I was there when she was in hospital! I gave her my other bracelet…_

Valkyrie glanced at her friendship bracelet.

And then she shot her wrist up close to her face. Inscribed on it were the words "Acta est fabula._". _

_Latin?_ Valkyrie thought.

"Hey, Skul…"

"Yeah?"

"Did Gordon have any Latin books?"

"He had a Latin dictionary I gave him for his birthday. He told me he wanted one to finish one of his books. Elder of the Decades or something."

"Do you know where it is now?"

"Why wouldn't it be in his study?"

Skulduggery was acting slightly odd. He wasn't asking why she passed out…

She pushed past him, through the door and to her surprise…

Gordon's house had black and purple décor.

Skulduggery ran after her, closing the door behind him. She realized his scarf was neon pink. Too bright to be a washing machine mistake…

She shoved him into the door. "Ow."

"What the heck's going on?" She demanded.

"What'd ya mean, Val?"

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" She bellowed.

Skulduggery was obviously taken back by her rage. "Fine! Don't tell me, you gay skeletal freak!"

"I hate you, Val! I always have!"

Val cringed.

_That isn't true. That isn't Skulduggery. This isn't Gordon's house._

She stormed off, heading to Gordon's study.

"Hmph!" Skulduggery straightened his suit, scarf and hat, then left, slamming the door in a mood like a little girl would throw. It wasn't like him at all.

Valkyrie kicked the study door open and examined the titles of the books at a radical speed.

"Frustration Matters, Blonde Saviour, The Man with No Face, Elder of the Deca-"

She stopped herself, looking at a book titled "Elder of the Decades." She glared at it.

"I thought it was Decade of the Elders…"

She carried on, having no time to lose.

"Ah-hah!" She picked up a dusty book on Gordon's desk. She blew the dust off the top and opened it, flipping through the pages.

"Acta est fabula - So ends the story. So ends the story… So ends the story…" She repeated, pacing.

"So ends the story-"She stopped, as a sudden realization stared her in the face. Gordon's rusted green type writer.

_So ends __**the story!**__ My story!_

She ran outside, flipping up her phone and calling Tanith, Skulduggery and Ghastly to Uncle Gordon's house.

A few hours later, they arrived. She invited them in. Tanith seemed more aggressive, Ghastly more light-hearted and Skulduggery… Well, he seemed queer…

_-Back with the real gang-_

Skulduggery followed the hearse in his Bentley.

"I can't believe she's dead…" He sighed.

"Come on, she'll be back… She's Val!" Fletcher patted him on the shoulder, leaning over the seats. They were both in black suits and ties. Fletcher's hair was still sticking up in a masterful way. Skulduggery's hat was plain black and had a broach pinned to it Valkyrie had given him for his birthday. It had a blue gem in the middle which made rainbows in the sunlight. Its silver outer framing glinted and reminded him of her.

Hugging her, feeling her warm embrace, laughing at her jokes…

He sighed.

"I can't believe she's dead!" He slammed his hands on the steering wheel.

"Calm down…"

"No! No I won't calm down! She dies of some random heart attack at a young age and no-one will remember her in a few years' time!" He sighed again. "No-one but me."

They arrived at the cemetery, driving over the cobblestones covering the car park. The rain plummeting from the grey, cloudy skies set the atmosphere and the wailing of Valkyrie's father, Desmond Edgley, certainly pulled at people's strings as well as hurt their ears.

Her mother put her arm around Desmond as he buried his head into her shoulder.

"She was only young!" Fletcher heard him cry. "Why did she have to die?"

Fletcher felt terrible. He never told her that he loved her before… before she died…

Skulduggery oddly felt exactly the same way.

_Wait… what?_

Skulduggery didn't know how he would be able to live without seeing her cheeky smile every day or hearing her stupid jokes. It was just like losing his beloved all over again-

Footsteps sounded behind him. He spun, ready to throw a punch.

"China!"

"What?"

"What're you doing here?"

"…It's Val's funeral, isn't it?"

Skulduggery stayed silent. China was in a long black dress, just above her ankles. It seemed to be made out of velvet and her hair was tied back in a bun. Her designer shoes easily glided over the cobblestone car park. Fletcher noticed the rage in Skulduggery's eyes, so to speak. Fletcher grabbed his arm and dragged him, following the crowd of few. Val didn't have much time to make friends.

"Fletcher…"

"She wouldn't have wanted you to kill her. Not here. Not now."

Skulduggery pulled away from Fletcher, quickening his pace. Fletcher did his best to catch up.

"She shouldn't be dead." Skulduggery scowled. "This is all my fault…"

"Come on, Skul…"

"It is though, isn't it?"

Fletcher stopped to think. "No, it isn't."

Skulduggery quickened his pace again, Fletcher running to catch up.

"Fletcher, I understand you want to help-"

"I'm trying to comfort you, here!"

"Fine, Fletcher, I understand you want to "comfort" me but you're just making me angry. Please, just leave me alone."

Fletcher stopped, watching Skulduggery as he walked into the distance.

_What am I meant to do now?_ Fletcher thought. Images of Valkyrie's parents flashed into his head. And then suddenly, Valkyrie's voice slammed into his head like a ton of bricks.

"Fletch!" It said.

"Val?"

"It's me! What's going on? Skulduggery's got a neon pink scarf! It's hilarious!"

Fletcher's eyes widened fractionally.

"A… A what?"

"A bright pink scarf!"

"…A-And does he act… kinda gay?"

"…Yeah…"

Fletcher's eyes widened to the size of tennis balls.

"Val, don't freak out but… you're meant to be dead… I'm talking to myself in the middle of an empty cemetery car park at your funeral."

"Whut…"

"…You're dead."

"…But, I'm right here… I'm on the phone with you…"

Fletcher looked around. "No, you're not… You're in my head…"

Valkyrie paused.

"S-So... I'm dead? I died in the bus shelter?"

"…Well, yeah… You can only contact me 'cause I'm a teleporter and I once met this odd guy in a red bowtie and a fez."

"You've been watching Dr. Who with Skulduggery again, haven't you?"

"I met him! We traveled in time! Oh and, Val… soon you're gonna see me riding a giant flying unicorn."

"What? You're breaking up!"

"Val?"

"Fletch!"

And then he lost connection.

_-Back with Val- _

She flipped her phone down and sat on the purple and black sofa in Gordon's house. The others smiled at her, casually.

"Took your time noticing." Ghastly commented.

"Well DUH." Tanith said, punching Ghastly on the shoulder. Ghastly looked genuinely hurt.

"Guys, what's going on?" She sighed as she slumped back.

"Just think about it. Acta est fabula." Skulduggery repeated.

"What?"

"I left you a clue on your bracelet. You don't belong here, Val. Our Val's dead, not yours."

Valkyrie glared at them all.

"Can someone please explain what the heck's going on here?" She pleaded.

"Well, Darling, I'm gay because-"

"Don't call me darling. "

"Well, love-"

Valkyrie sighed. "It's Val."

"Oh ex-cusseee me! As I was sayin', darling, this is the story world. It takes the imagination of people and their stories and uses it to make… us!"

Tanith and Ghastly smiled at each other, then back at Val.

"So, why are you gay?"

"Someone must have written a bit of your story, love."

"…FLETCHER!"

She ran outside and flipped up her phone. She was about to call Fletcher again to see if those crazy nutters sitting in Gordon's house were telling the truth when Fletcher landed on a white unicorn right beside her. He had a pink suit on and levitated on butterflies, obviously struggling under his weight.

"What… the… fuck…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for any offence caused using the term "Dr." instead of "Doctor" when using the Doctor Who reference. – Sincerest apologies, SkulduggeryFan**

"Ah, hello my lady." Fletcher smiled

"Fletcher?" She gaped.

"Aye, 'tis me, my love, your knight in shining armour."

A puff of light grey smoke floated around Valkyrie as she coughed and looked down at herself.

She. Was. Wearing. A. Bright. Pink. Dress.

She ran back into the house and looked in Skulduggery's full length mirror.

Her hair suddenly resembled that of Princess Peaches out of Mario. Her dress like princesses, a light pink shade. Although her hair was black, it did look quite good. She didn't agree with the dress though. She inspected her footwear. Glass heels! Like Cinderella! Oh wow… A kids dream come true! She spun around, letting the dress and her hair fly around her. She stopped, staring back in the mirror.

Fletcher was leaning on the doorway.

"I knew you would like it, babe."

"…Babe?" Valkyrie blinked at him.

"Yeah. Babe."

"…I'm not your… 'Babe'". She glared at him.

"Not what you said last night." He smirked back.

Valkyrie stared at him. "You're my…?"

"Yep."

"We're going out!" She screamed, horrified.

"Yep-" Fletcher's face suddenly sank. "Oh, wait… You're not my Valkyrie, are you?"

"God no!" She stared at him. "Why are you dressed like some kind of paedophile?"

"Hey!"

"…What?"

"I'm YOUR age. I'm not a paedophile!"

"Sure… YOU'RE GAY!"

She ran out of the room, pushing past a now fuming Fletcher. Fletcher jogged after her. "Knowing me," He said. "I've probably done something really stupid."

"That ain't changed then, has it?"

He scowled at her. "Val, there's gotta be something here. A clue of some sorts."

She thought.

"A clue…" An image of her talking to Gordon slammed into her head. But what was she saying…? They'd been laughing… Mystery!

"A clue, like a mystery book?"

"Sure. Why not?"

_**-Back with Skulduggery in the real world-**_

"What?"

"She's not dead!" Fletcher exclaimed. This was obviously hard for the Gang to understand. "I heard her voice!"

"You've been hallucinating. That's all." Tanith sighed. Fletcher sighed and slumped back.

"Why can't you guys believe me?"

"Because you're stupid." Skulduggery crossed his arms and legs.

"…Am not."

"Yes you are, Fletcher."

"Pffft!"

Skulduggery suddenly stood, overpowering Fletcher. Fletcher stood also, but being unable to match the skeleton detective's height. "You wanna dance?"

"Why would I want to dance?" Fletcher asked.

Skulduggery looked at Tanith and Ghastly, laughing. "Does no-one see what I mean?"

"Skulduggery…" Tanith grabbed his hand, pulling him back down into his seat. "I know this has been particularly hard on you and Fletcher but you shouldn't take it out on each other. Maybe you should get some counselling."

Skulduggery stood again, pacing. "Bah! Counselling? Me? I'm fine! Valkyrie was a friend. I've had plenty of friends die and this isn't going to affect me!" He stormed off into the kitchen.

Tanith nodded to Ghastly. Ghastly sat next to Fletcher as Tanith walked off into the kitchen.

"I know how difficult this is for you, Fletcher." Ghastly said. "If you have any extreme emotions, you just need to let them out."

Fletcher glared at him.

"It's not your fault." Ghastly nodded.

"Don't do this to me, man…"

"It's not your fault…"

"Seriously, don't make me do this!"

"It's not your fault."

Fletcher broke down. He hugged Ghastly, crying into his shoulder.

"She didn't have to die! I should have done something!" She sobbed, his muffled voice straining.

Ghastly stroked his head, trying to calm him down quite awkwardly.

Tanith found Skulduggery hunched over a sink. "Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine." He replied sourly.

"Look, if you need help your friends are here for you. We all know how difficult this is on you, Skulduggery. She was your best friend. You don't get over that easily."

He groaned. "I'm… I'm fine." His voice sounded strained.

"Umm… Skul?"

Skulduggery suddenly wiped around his eyes. _Was he crying? A true moment of weakness?_

Tanith walked up to him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "It's okay…"

"I should have done something."

"What could you have done?"

"She didn't need to die. She was too young."

"There was nothing you could do."

"Yes there was!" He spun around, suddenly, staring Tanith in the eyes. Tanith could see a few glints of water in the form of droplets, gripping onto his eye holes. "She didn't need to know who I was. She didn't need to learn magic. She didn't need to join me. She didn't need to ever know I existed."

"But she wouldn't have had the amazing life she had."

They glared at each other.

"Valkyrie wouldn't want you to be like this.

Suddenly, Valkyrie appeared. "No. I wouldn't."

They started at her.

"…What?"

"V-V-Val?"

"Yeah it's a long story but I don't have long. I'm basically in my story. I need you guys to save me as the Fletcher here is keeping me from getting to the typewriter long enough to save myself."

Skulduggery grinned. Although, no-one could see it…

"You need to save me- Hey, Skul, have you been crying?"

"…"

"Take that as a yes. You need to get to the type writer and get me out of here!"

Skulduggery cocked his head in a way Valkyrie recognised as smiling. "Come here, you!"

Skulduggery and Valkyrie ran at each other, arms extended and ready to hug. Suddenly, Valkyrie went through him. "…Ah. Damn holograms."

Skulduggery sighed, turning to her. "I'll save you, Val."

"Good on y- No! Fletcher don't!"

Suddenly she disappeared.

"Allons-y."

"Stop watching Doctor Who, Skulduggery."

"Aww…" He grinned an invisible cheeky smile.

_**-Before, with Valkyrie…-**_

She ran back into the study and leaped straight over to the typewriter. "What're you doing, Baby doll?"

"Do not call me that!"

"Fine. Jeesh. What're you doing… 'Valkyrie'…"

"Me and Gordon were talking about mystery while I was writing my book." She said while examining the typewriter.

Suddenly, a paper appeared in it. It was her story!

"All I logically have to do…"

"…Is write the story."

"Exactly."

Fletcher grabbed her arm and dragged her away, spinning her to face him. "I'm not letting you go."

"Uhm… Fletch, please I need to-"

"No Valkyrie! You never cared for me!"

"Oh don't you start…" She muttered.

"You've never loved me, have you?"

"Listen here, Fletcher Renn!" She bellowed. "I've never loved you and I never will! I love Sk-"

She stopped herself.

"Skulduggery Pleasant…" He glared. "But, isn't he queer?"

"Not in my world. In my world, he's a handsome, well dressed, dapper fellow."

Fletcher sighed. "You're not leaving me again."

"Fletcher, I'm not gonna die you kno-"

"Yes you are!"

"…No, that's your Val..."

"No it isn't…"

"…Explain."

"You see, very few people get to see the world of their stories. Why do you think you, of all powerful mages throughout the world, are here?"

Valkyrie shrugged casually.

"Skulduggery is going to _kill_ you. Skulduggery is going to _kill_ _you all!_"

Valkyrie stared for a moment, and then roared with laughter. "Nice try, Fletch."

"I brought you here to save you!"

"Look, it's sweet and everything but I don't like you in that way."

Fletcher glared at her. "You've got to understand, if you go back to your world, everything alive shall perish."

"Okay when'd you get so fancy with your wording?"

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

"Nope."

He sighed. _I didn't think it would have to come to this._

"Val, can I have a kiss? For old time's sake?"

Valkyrie stopped. "You can kiss me on the cheek. Nothing more."

He nodded and stepped over to her. He kissed her only very slightly on the cheek. Valkyrie's vision became suddenly blurred and unclear. Her mind started to panic. "W-What did you do to me?" She whispered, drowsily. She swayed slightly from side to side. "Sleeping spell. Needs contact with the person's head to work."

"You son of a bitc-" She collapsed, falling into an instant deep sleep.


	7. Chapter 7: The Beginning of the end

_**The Final Chapter – Part 1**_

_**I've spent all day on this and taken some inspiration from a conversation with a Miss Rosalie Storm. She's an awesome writer, go check her out. I thought I'd mention her considering she inspired me so it's only fair. Something about heads on the sun… Ah well, it'll come to me later.**_

_**-With Skulduggery, Tanith, Fletcher and Ghastly in the real world-**_

"Fletcher was telling the truth." Skulduggery said, strolling back into the living room with Tanith tailing him.

Fletcher looked up. "You spoke to her too?"

"Not only that." He grinned. "I saw her."

Fletcher jumped up. "Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She's in her story." Skulduggery glared at Fletcher. "You were the last to enter the study, Mr. Renn."

"I didn't write any of it! Not anything significant!"

"What did you write?" He growled, walking over to Fletcher.

"I-I…"

"TELL ME!" Bellowed Skulduggery. Fletcher quaked in fear.

"I wrote that fact that…" He hesitated. "I wrote me and Valkyrie are going out. I wrote you were queer, Tanith had anger problems and Ghastly was a puss-"

"Shut up, kid!"

Fletcher stopped instantly. Skulduggery breathed heavily, his hands curling into balls of hatred, fuelled by anger. The sparkle in the deep pockets of his eyes suddenly departed. Fletcher knew this was bad. Fletcher knew he was going to die, and he'd accepted it in their line of work. Skulduggery's velvet voice was suddenly bitter and cruel.

"Why…"

Fletcher was too scared to answer.

"Why?"

He repeated.

Fletcher remained silent.

"WHY?" He suddenly bellowed. He raised his arm to attack Fletcher but two sets of arms wrapped around him. One around his arm, forcing it down and one around his waist, yanking him back ferociously. "Leave him, Skul!" Tanith gasped, gripping his arm.

"He's not worth it!" Ghastly added, trying to hold him back. Skulduggery broke free and stormed off to the study. He walked over to the typewriter and investigated it. The final paragraph went like this:

"_Valkyrie wrote a note to Skulduggery and left it in the cupboard."-_

Tanith went up and checked.

"Acta est fabula." Tanith and Skulduggery both said out-loud.

"She was telling the truth. She's stuck in her story!"

"It's Latin." Skulduggery laughed. "I'm a genius!"

The others glared at him, confused. "I use to use it a lot before. It means "And so the story ends"."

"We've got to finish her story." Fletcher gaped, intrigued.

"Good idiot." Skulduggery chuckled. "You're learning."

Fletcher scowled at him and crossed his arms. "Just get on with it." He walked out of the room with Ghastly.

"_Suddenly, Valkyrie appeared in front of Tanith and Skulduggery who were in the kitchen._ "_No I wouldn't." They started at her. "…What?"_

"_V-V-Val?"_

"_Yeah it's a long story but I don't have long. I'm basically in my story. I need you guys to save me as the Fletcher here is keeping me from getting to the typewriter long enough to save myself properly."."_

"And the rest is history…" Skulduggery said, slowly grinning. "What a smart idiot she is."

It was odd for Skulduggery to truly admire anyone, never mind someone like Valkyrie. Tanith was astonished at how much praise he had for her. Maybe her dying showed him how much she truly means to him. Something he could not discover on his own. Something hidden away deep inside. Something inside of his stone cold heart must have melted.

"_Fletcher laughed at her." _He began to type. _"He laughed at her for trying. Trying to send messages to the real Skulduggery. "He won't notice. He doesn't want you back. He doesn't love you like I do."_

"_Well, maybe that's true but"."_

Suddenly, Skulduggery wasn't in control. It was like he was writing what was happening where she was. What was being said.

"_Fletcher punched her in the face. She was tied to a chair, beaten and weak. Blood slowly dripped down from her nose. Her head drooped onto her shoulder, as if she was knocked out. Fletcher stood back and took a picture. "One for the Sanctuary." He smirked. "I know Skulduggery will help me. He might not in this world, but the real Skulduggery would never leave me to die."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_Because."_

"_Because of what, Val? Because he's your 'Friend'? He's a skeleton! He's probably a crazy figment of your imagination!"_

Tanith was looking over Skulduggery shoulder, confused. Why was he writing this? Was he seeing the other realm or wherever they were?

"_I know he will save me, Fletcher! He's real."_

"_How do you know for sure, Stephanie?" She tried ever so hard not to answer, knowing Skulduggery was writing what was happening thanks to her clues. "How do you know for sure, Stephanie Edgley?" He repeated. Damn it. She had to answer._

"_Because I love him."_

_There was a long pause."_

Skulduggery jumped back, away from the typewriter, panting. Somehow, the typewriter was typing its self.

"_Skulduggery, I know you can see this. Help me. You need to take control of the situation or Fletcher is going to kill me! That's why I'm dead in real life. He swapped us. I was alive in real, and at this very moment in my story he was going to murder me. This is what he meant by "Skulduggery is going to kill you."! Not that you're going to physically kill me but that you're not going to be able to get me out of here! Please, I'll explain it all later. I've figured it all out, you see!-"Valkyrie was punched in the face by Fletcher._

"_Stop talking to yourself, Cain."_

"_I'm not." She growled. "I'm talking to my partner in crime."_

"_How so?"_

"_Heh." She smiled. "We're the only one who's figured it out, aren't we, Skulduggery?"_

Skulduggery turned to Tanith, ready to explain. "I think I understand it, now."

"Please, explain."

"Valkyrie was writing a story. Her imagination was so strong; it created a whole different world around it. Not many people have the power to do that but it has been known for people to pass through the barrier of imagination and reality."

"Slow down!"

"…She's in her imagination. Ok?"

"Ok."

"She can contact us through the story. The story is like the anchor. Remember a few years back when I was stuck in that other dimension thing?"

This is totally out of character… Tanith thought.

"Yes. I remember. When you were stuck with the Faceless Ones?"

"Yep. It's kind of like my skull. An anchor between the worlds. Except, we can't travel there as it's like her 'personal dimension'. So, we can just contact her.

"_Valkyrie began to lose hope of Skulduggery getting the clues he left for him. All he needed to do was take control of her story but even that seemed too difficult for the detective._ _But, then again, maybe he wasn't there. Maybe he didn't want her. Maybe it wasn't the right time to let him know her biggest secret." _The typewriter wrote.

Skulduggery glanced over at it. The story now read:

"_Skulduggery, I know you can see this. Help me. You need to take control of the situation or Fletcher is going to kill me! That's why I'm dead in real life. He swapped us. I was alive in real, and at this very moment in my story he was going to murder me. Otherwise, I would be alive in real life! Please, I'll explain it all later. I've figured it all out, you see!-"Valkyrie was punched in the face by Fletcher._

"_Stop talking to yourself, Cain."_

"_I'm not." She growled. "I'm talking to my partner in crime."_

"_How so?"_

"_Heh." She smiled. "We're the only one who's figured it out, aren't we, Skulduggery?"_

_Fletcher smiled. "Skulduggery is surely too thick to understand anything about the dimensional balance." _

"_Here, sure. Here he isn't Skulduggery. Here, he's queer for God's sake. But, back in the real world, he's brilliant. He's my best friend. He's too smart for you."_

"_No he isn't." Smirked Fletcher. "Controlling a story is a very difficult thing to do. Especially with someone from the Mortal Dimension in it. It's a gruelling battle of wits-"_

"_Wits? Bah! He can do that!"_

"_-Focus and determination. He has to battle with himself to mentally break through a barrier of great power. Do you really want to put him through that, Miss Cain? Do you really?"_

_Valkyrie began to lose hope of Skulduggery getting the clues she left for him. All he needed to do was take control of her story but even that seemed too difficult for the detective. But, then again, maybe he wasn't there. Maybe he didn't want her. Maybe it wasn't the right time to let him know her biggest secret._

"No, Val..." Skulduggery sighed. Tanith left the room, knowing something bad was probably going to happen. "This was exactly the right time."

He sat at the typewriter, flexing his fingers. "Let's do this." He paused. "Wait, how…?"

He thought for a moment. "Maybe if I connect with the typewriter its self, I can mentally send her a message…"

He placed his fingers on the keys, hoping something would happen. His fingers slowly started to type, gradually gaining speed.

He wrote:

_Valkyrie glared up at Fletcher, spitting blood. Fletcher slapped her again, knocking out a tooth._

Skulduggery's brain began to ache, slowly getting worse and worse. He knew he had to continue. He had to make some kind of mental bond, even if it was weak. Too weak to get her out of there. After, he would know how to get her out.

The writing continued:

"_I feel him against the barrier, trying to pass through. Heh. He doesn't know how." Fletcher chuckled, circling Valkyrie._

"_Skulduggery, all you need to do is make a connection to one of us!" She exclaimed hopefully, her head raising. "The better the relationship with the person, the better chance of getting a connection. You won't get a connection with Fletcher! He won't let you into his head! All you have to do is-" Fletcher grabbed her by the throat, cutting off her air passages. "You let him through, Stephanie and I swear I'll snap your neck like a twig." Valkyrie glared at him, her face portraying all the anger she had ever felt. "All you need to do is believe." She strained. "Believe in this world. And most of all, Believe in… in…" She started to pass out, using the last of her air to tell him. "Yourself." She slumped, her head falling lifelessly over Fletcher's hand._

Skulduggery thought, still straining to keep the slight connection. "I can do this…" He forced all the power in his body to his brain, leaving some with his hands. He concentrated on Valkyrie's face, zoning in. He concentrated on all the times they had spent together, the good and bad. His brain ached and ached. It started to become unbearable, even for a man who had been tortured many times.

He started to jerk and spasm, trying to get rid of some of the pain but it just intensified. It seemed like he was going through all the pain for nothing. He was getting no-where. Why? What hadn't he done? He believed in himself, his ego made sure of that. He knew the world existed. What hadn't they told him?

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

Maybe I don't believe… in Valkyrie. He thought. Oh come on, Skul. Of course you do! She's your best friend! He smiled, closing his eyes and picturing her face. Soon it faded, with the words "Acta est fabula" appeared before his eyes, seeming to make the pain burn through his skull like the core of the sun, where he seemed to be able to be on the surface? How is this possible? Was he dreaming?

Two girls' heads were talking to each other. Had to be his imagination now, right?

"You have to **believe.**" Valkyrie's words echoed in his head. It couldn't be a dream. He began to convince himself, telling himself it was real. To prove it, he walked over to the heads.

"Bit sunny, here, isn't it?" He heard one say. "Never rains."

"Could use a bit of rain." The second laughed. "Might make it a bit steamy, though."

They stopped talking and stared in awe as they saw a skeleton in a suit walk over to them. He tipped his hat. "Ladies."

"How…?" The first one started. The head has short brown hair and round glasses.

"No idea." He smiled.

"So, you want to pass to the Imagination world?"

"How'd you know?"

"Because this is your imagination."

"…"

"Just think of us with bodies, please. Being heads is… disturbing."

"Uh… Sure thing." He started to close his eyes, imagining a valley with green rolling hills and a gleaming river. He imagined two women, both in dark green cloaks and their hands in the other arm's sleeve.

And sure enough, as soon as he opened his eyes he was in a valley with two women in dark green cloaks.

"Thanks." One said. "I like having a body. Anyhow-"

They were interrupted by a blue box crashing into the planet. It flipped multiple times and then landed normally. It had the words "Police Box" across the top and it was a navy blue. The windows were lit up and there seemed to be someone home.

A man with a fez barely hanging onto his head popped out. He had a messed up jacket , torn and pulled and a red bowtie just hanging off of his neck. "Sorry folk-"He grinned at Skulduggery, walking out, closing the door and then extending a hand. "How are you, Skulduggery?"

"I'm fine." He nodded, shaking his hand. This was definitely his imagination now. He believed.

"Good, good."

Although he knew this was a part of his imagination, he knew he was going to enjoy it. This part, at least.

Valkyries voice seemed to slowly echo through his head saying the words:

_This is only the beginning._

_The beginning of the end._


	8. Chapter 8: The First Gate

**If anyone at all is confused, talk to me and I'll get Skulduggery to explain, seeing as I'm probably just as confused as you. OH AND THERE'S A BIT ABOUT A DARK TEMPLE! I wrote a SongFic Story on my drabbles story and this is basically the reason why he was… GO READ IT YOU LAZY BUMS! Heh, kidding!**

"So, this is your imagination?" The Doctor asked, looking around while rubbing his chin.

"Yep." Skulduggery sighed, putting his hands on his hips and looking around.

"Pretty impressive."

"Yep."

"Can we just explain what you have to do to get past the gate so we can move on to the next guy?" Said the women together.

"…Uhm, what gate?" Skulduggery questioned.

"The one you have to pass to get to Val's imagination."

"…So, you two are like gate keepers?" He laughed, mockingly.

"Yes." They both said, putting their hands on their hips and angry expressions smacking across their faces.

"…Oh." His grin faded. The Doctor looked over at them, intrigued.

"Look, there are going to be three gates to pass through. Each gate will represent a part of you that you are troubled about from different times of your life. Past, present and future." Said the first.

"Future?" The Doctor butted in. "I'm guessing that's why I'm here."

"Yes, Doctor."

"Ah-ha! I get to stick around for a while then!" He grinned.

"Yes, Doctor."

The Doctor walked happily off to look around a little more. He straightened his Fez, bowtie and jacket.

"What do you mean… 'Troubled'?" Said a now extremely worried Skulduggery.

"Memories that haunt you." The second woman said casually.

Skulduggery paused, quickly thinking of all the things the first could be. _His childhood? Parents? Bullies? What on Earth could it be?_

"Say the word, and we'll take you there."

"Will I be alone or…?"

"We will be with you."

"Me too!" The Doctor grinned. "I can't wait to see what could have gone on in your past!"

"Oh, great. Thanks, Doctor." Skulduggery muttered. "Take us there, Miss uh…"

"Miss Jenkins." The first said.

"Mrs Kilan." The second nodded.

The names seemed awfully familiar, but Skulduggery had to focus on the task ahead of him.

"Allons-y!" The Doctor grinned, like a giddy school girl.

"As you wish." Miss Jenkins said.

The world around them seemed to spin, making all blurry. Skulduggery and The Doctor tripped over, falling to the ground as the two women seemed to stay perfectly still. The world stopped spinning, and their surroundings had changed. Drastically.

Skulduggery tapped his façade up so he could raise his eyebrows. They were outside his old school. There was a bleak fence, going for miles. An old gate said "St. John's School for Boys". Skulduggery had always hated it. He wasn't even religious and he was force to go to a catholic school by his-

Wait. What was that? He ignored it.

He tapped his façade down standing up turned to the women.

"Miss Jenkins and Mrs Kilan, why am I here?"

"This must be a memory." Said Miss Jenkins.

"Well… I remember it started raining on my-"

It started raining.

"-First day of school…" He face palmed, knowing what was coming next. "Can anyone see us?"

"No. We're like ghosts." Said Mrs Kilan.

"Good. How do I get past this gate?"

"You figure out what exactly haunts you and change it."

"Okie dokie!" The Doctor stood up, brushed himself down and clapped his hands, rubbing them together. "Let's do this!"

"Well, I… I can't really remember what else happened. Maybe we should split up and look for me. I mean him. I mean…"

"We know what you mean, Mr. Pleasant."

"Oh good."

The women seemed to walk off in sync and the Doctor skipped through the gate, heading t'wards the school.

Skulduggery knew _EXACLTY_ what happened that day. Heck! If you'd had your head stuck down a toilet three times, you sure as hell wouldn't want anyone to see it. He walked casually, looking around to make sure no-one could see him, coming to a thin, dark alleyway by an oldish looking brick wall. He glanced inside of it.

Suddenly a young boy with light brunette hair, a dark blue blazer and black trousers rapidly fled straight through him. Skulduggery flailed and stumbled backwards. His mind screamed at him. _Calm, Skulduggery… You can do this._

Four boys chased after him. They all had black hair and the same tattoo on their left wrist.

**The Dark Temple**

"Oi! " The main bully screamed after him. As the child was about to get to the end of the alley, two boys blocked the exit, leaving no hope for the young boy. He tried to run the other way but two more boys blocked the other exit. The leader of this gang of bullies pushed past them. "Money. Now."

"I told you, I don't have any!" The young boy wept.

"Well, we'll have to take something else…"

"L-L-Like what?"

"Hmmm, I dunno… Your bravery… Your confidence. Hey, do you see that guy?"

The bully seemed to point straight at Skulduggery. The child glanced over, but saw nothing but thin air. Little did the young boy know he was staring straight into the eyes of a 400 year old skeleton.

Skulduggery Pleasant froze to the spot.

"I don't see anything…" The younger one said curiously.

"You're not meant to see him. You're meant to _feel_ him."

"So, you boys can sense me, can you hear me, too?" Skulduggery questioned.

"Indeed I can, Skulduggery."

"Okay. I want you to know this. That young boy before you will probably grow up to be one of the amazing people in the whole of Ireland."

"Heh." Smirked the bully.

"I-I don't hear anything…"

"That's because you're small. You're nothing. You're like the gum stuck to my shoe. I spit you out and tread on you. You're nothing. You might as well not exist. I mean, not like your parents are around, are they?" The boy smirked, his eyes lasering into the young boy's.

Could Skulduggery interact with the young boy? Could he tell him what to do?

"Kid, no-one is nothing. There is always somebody who loves you out there and never forget that. Sure, your parents aren't around but that doesn't mean they didn't love you. I had a kid for god's sake, but I can't see her anymore. It doesn't mean she always keeps a little piece of my heart." Skulduggery hoped the young boy could hear him.

The spark of fear that was in his dark eyes before was now gone, seeming his confidence had been restored. "You know what," He grinned, standing straight. He was taller than the bullies. He felt like he could be on top of the world. "I'm me. You love me or you hate me. That's who I am. But if you have a problem with me, you say it to my face."

"I do have a problem with you." The bully moved closer to him. "You're too good."

"Why thank you."

"You're too good to be true, kid."

"Why thank you. Again."

"That's why we have to _kill _you."

"Wait, what?"

The young boy saw a small gleaming metal object gripped in the bully's bulky hand. A look of shock suddenly became stuck on his face. "You wouldn't…"

"I would."

The bully plunged the homemade dagger into his side. The boy grunted and fell to the floor. "Help! If you're even there at all… They were probably just tricking me, seeing as I'm probably going to die here…"

Skulduggery's gut did flips. What did he do? Did he help? Get rid of the bullies permanently? This wasn't even what had HAUNTED him! He didn't think… He decided to get rid of the bullies. A tactic from the war popped into his head. _Take out the leader and the rest shall run._

He flicked his wrist, hoping it would push a wave of air at them. All he had to do was scare them, right? Surely enough they flew out of the alley and onto the grass. They didn't seem in the slightest bit shocked. He remembered these guys vividly. The meanest guys in school. Stuffed his head down the toilet for everyday of his school life and stole all his money whenever they had the chance. Why the heck did _he_ have to do this? Why _him?_

An image of Valkyrie flashed into his head.

_Oh._

He leant his head up, slowly letting out a long and slow sigh of frustration and swallowing the pill they call pride. Which is a pretty big pill, for Skulduggery at least.

He ran at the bullies, kicking one in the face. He fell to the ground out cold. Wow, his kicks must be pretty hard. From what he remembered, these boys were the toughest in school! The ones he aspired to be. Now, he definitely didn't want to follow in their footsteps.

The other henchman of the leader ignited the flame of fear in his heart. The glint in his eyes told him so. He ran, tripping over his own shoes as he went.

The main bully remained.

"So…"

"Hello!" Skulduggery said. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"Ah, good."

The side of the bully's mouth twitched. He sent a wave of shadows crashing into Skulduggery and he went flying back. Skulduggery groaned as he crashed into the black fence like a pigeon flying into an aeroplane. "That hurt."

"It was meant to."

"But, this will hurt more."

The boy looked around casually and shrugged at Skulduggery, smiling. "Nothing here."

"Oh really?"

"Yea-"He was interrupted by a dark spear of shadows stabbing him through his chest, lodging itself. He screamed out and fell to his knees, gasping. Tears gripped onto his pale cheeks.

It was good to see him in so much pain.

It was good to see him cry.

"I'm sorry!" He cried. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry…"

"Too late." Growled Skulduggery. He gripped his revolver in his hand, feeling the rough texture rubbing against his bones. He raised it to the young boy's head.

"If you kill me, my father will come after you!"

"Bah!"

"Hear me out!"

"I'm giving you one minute."

"I'm the son of the leader of The Dark Temple. If you kill me, this'll have terrible consequences in the future!"

"61 seconds. Goodnight."

"No- wait!"

_Bang._

The boy's lame body fell to onto the bright green grass. He saw a few adults running over to their location, the gunshot arousing them from their day to day schedule. To their shock, they found one unconscious boy, Justin Rimba, one dead boy, Richard Jenkins, and one boy barely gripping onto life, _Skulduggery Pleasant_.


	9. Chapter 9: The Second Gate

**Just for those confused, Skulduggery isn't dead. The younger version of him was just very badly hurt. If the younger version of him died the older version wouldn't be there.**

Skulduggery walked back to the gates, thinking about what he had done. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do after all… He'd just killed a kid… He didn't know if he'd failed but a gut instinct told him so. At least now he knew why "Miss Jenkins" sounded so familiar. The bully that tortured him and his friends for eighteen whole years…

He hung his head in shame, figuring everyone would be fuming with him. He'd just changed time and killed the kid. He wasn't meant to do that. He's probably changed the time in the future. Maybe he's changed himself. He was still a skeleton, wasn't he? He glanced in a puddle. Yep. Still a skeleton.

The two women raised their heads with smiles slapped across their faces. "Well done, Skulduggery. Apparently, you have completed the task to open the first gate. Well done."

Suddenly, Skulduggery remembered that he _couldn't _have changed time. That _was_ what he had to do! He had been so stupid! This wasn't normal life, this was his head! He could change what he wanted when he wanted and how he wanted. Now that was out of the way, he didn't have to feel bad anymore!

The Doctor skipped towards them, grinning. "So, the past's all good then?"

"Yep."

Skulduggery sighed a sigh of relief.

The gate entering the school seemed to buzz with electricity as suddenly a blinding white light came from no-where. When their visions had cleared, the gate entering the school grounds had a blue swirling portal in it.

"We can now pass through." The women smiled.

Skulduggery's jaw would have dropped if he was wearing his façade. The Doctor seemed to giggle like a small school girl and skip through, enticed and inquisitive. "So, this is something in the present?"

"…Yep…"

"I really feel bad for you, you know." Miss Jenkins smiled very slightly.

"Why?"

"Because of all you have been through. You're a very unlucky man, Mr. Pleasant."

"I know." Skulduggery cocked his head sideways, then turned to the portal and sighed.

"Here I come.." He murmured to himself under his breath. Suddenly, in flashes of red, green, purple, yellow and blue, Skulduggery shielded his eyes. The world seemed to spin ten times faster than a round-a-bout being pushed by The Hulk whereas Skulduggery himself did his best to stay upright, dizziness overwhelming him and clouding his mind. When the world had stopped spinning, The Doctor was visible only barely. Skulduggery barely managed to soften the fall. When the world had stopped spinning, he looked up at…

Himself?

What on Earth?

Where were they!

The Doctor jumped around with a kind of glee he shall only ever know. "Gordon Edgley! I've read a good few of your books and I have to say I loved Decades of the Elders!" He ran over to attempted to shake a confused and dazed Echo Stone's hand. "I say! Is this Tanith Low? May I say, My Lady, it's an honour!" He ran over and kissed Tanith on the hand. "Wow, Skul, who's your friend? He's pretty cute… I like his bowtie." Tanith flirted. Ghastly's eyes burned holes deep into the hearts of The Doctor.

The Doctor's face became a smug figure of its former self, turning to Skulduggery who was still on the floor staring at himself. "Bowties are cool." He said while pulling his bow sideways.

"Why am I… Where are we…"

"Skulduggery, we're in Gordon's study."

It hit Skulduggery like a Frisbee. He jumped up and stared at the green rusted type writer. When Valkyrie said… that… that thing. He glared at the typewriter, tempted to grab it and throttle it until it changes what was said. Why now? This could be so easy…

_Hold on!_

A second Frisbee hit Skulduggery at the same time as an amazingly brilliant idea. This was his imagination. If he concentrated…

…_Poof!_ Fletcher appeared doing some kind of ridiculous Irish dancing with a red curly wig and big princess dress on. Skulduggery couldn't help but let a low velvet chuckle slither through his skull. He got back to the hand on task. He was about to change it when The Doctor looked over his shoulder. "Skulduggery, I hate to break this to you but you're meant to stop it haunting you, not change it."

Skulduggery glanced at him. "I don't care. I'm doing this my way and my way only."

_Poof! _The writing changed and the two women appeared yet again.

"It seems as if you have completed your second challenge. How on Earth are you doing this so quickly?"

"I'm smart."

"Well, you're cocky, that's for sure. Your ego can bite you in the bum one day."

"Heh, bum."

"Skulduggery, take this seriously. You should lower the bar of your ego. One day, it'll come back to bite you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heard it all before."

"Take this seriously!"

"I refuse."

"Ugh!"

The women gestured to the archway entering another room and again, in blinding lights and rainbows, the portal slowly inched into existence. "Go ahead. Step through."

"Hold on…" Ghastly stepped forward, leaning in and reading what Skulduggery had changed. He opened his mouth and inhaled largely, ready to read aloud. Skulduggery leaped forward and clamped his hands around Ghastly's mouth. "Don't you dare."

"Mmm! MmMMmM!" Ghastly bit Skulduggery's bone. Nothing. He licked his bone.

"Eww…"

Ghastly bit off one of Skulduggery's fingers and his velvety voice crashed through his skull in a jagged yelp. He grasped his hand, cradling the wound. "No no, Don't!"

Ghastly grinned as he read… _""How do you know for sure, Stephanie?" She tried ever so hard not to answer, knowing Skulduggery was writing what was happening thanks to her clues. "How do you know for sure, Stephanie Edgley?" He repeated. Damn it, if she didn't spill it he would keep on asking and it was going to come out sooner or later... She had to answer. "Because I love him."_

_Suddenly, Skulduggery burst into the door and leaped in front of Valkyrie, protecting her. He gripped his revolver, the pressure dropping on top of him like an anvil. He stood his ground, making sure Valkyrie wasn't in his reach. "Now, what were you saying?" He gently pressed the gun to Fletcher's head. Fletcher stumbled back, tripped and fell to the floor. __Bang._

_He untied Valkyrie and picked her up. She loosely hung her arms around his neck, just barely in consciousness. She rested her head upon his ribcage, whispering. "I love you, Skulduggery."_

_Skulduggery glanced at her before whispering back. "I love you too."_

Everyone stared at him, their eyes making holes in his bones.

"What?"


	10. Chapter 10: The Final Gate

**I'm sorry I haven't been writing. I've been busy. Anyway, this is going to link into "Twists and Turns" the SongFics. If you haven't read a few of them you might not get this.**

"Well, that was…"

"Get in, Skul! You're brilliant!" The Doctor beamed, as usual, contrasting the faces of shock with a hint of humour or amusement.

If he could, Skulduggery would have gone a deep shade of red. "Can we move on, now, ladies?" One of them seemed to snigger, confirming all of Skulduggery suspicions.

He had just made an idiot of himself.

In his own head.

Boy, his ego was going to suffer for this. Ah well. At least he'd stopped it 'haunting' him.

Ghastly was still hiding his smile as Skulduggery ran through the portal. They ended up…

In the TARDIS.

"Wow…" Gasped Skulduggery.

"This is my part, isn't it?" The Doctor grinned at the women.

"Yes."

"Goodie!" He started running around pressing various buttons, pushing thingy bobs and pulling or pushing levery doo-dars. "Where too?"

"We'll do it." The ladies smiled. They nodded at the main controls and big cylinder. Suddenly, the TARDIS's humming of life seemed to become more strained as The Doctor found it more and more difficult to keep up with the women. "Slow down, ladies!"

"Sorry, Doctor."

"It's fine."

The TARDIS seemed to be able to relax a little more. "She just can't take that much power."

"She?"

"…Yeah. My TARDIS."

The ladies raised their eyebrow. "No wonder he travels alone." Miss Kilan smirked. The Doctor's face grew cold for only a moment, registering that Mrs Kilan had struck a chord somewhere deep down inside of him, causing the concealed anger to break through the wall of emotion very slightly. "I would appreciate you do not make comments on that, Kilan." The Doctor remarked, throwing a weak smile back. Mrs Kilan nodded respectfully.

After a while of The Doctor talking to the ladies and explaining stuff about "Timey Wimey" and Skulduggery going through The Doctor's extensive range of hats, they finally touched down.

"So, where are we?" Skulduggery asked The Doctor.

"Not sure. The ladies took control of her." The Doctor nodded to the two women, seeming perfectly calm.

"Well, let's see, then!"

Skulduggery burst through the doors into…

The Dark Temple

He stood, staring at a chair in a very dark room. He could hear Valkyrie screaming and kicking with Tanith and Ghastly trying to drag her out of the room, although it was so dark they couldn't see anything.

The Doctor walked out quietly with the two ladies on his arm. Skulduggery could slowly see smoke, wafting over to him in the air. A bright blue light was buzzing by the chair, making The Doctor's face dimly visible. His face was cold and grim, like he was at a funeral.

A _funeral?_

Skulduggery's stomach twisted and sank inside of him. He recognised the smell of the wafting smoke.

_Burning bones._

_It was an electric chair._

_He was in it._

"So… I'm going to die?"

"We all have to someday."

"But not like this!" He scratched his skull in frustration. "Why? What've I done now?"

Then he noticed the kicking and screaming Valkyrie right by the door where a crack of sunlight spread across the room onto her face. "But… She's right… So I fix this?"

"Well she is right there."

"Yeah, in my head."

"No, this is literally the future. Sorry 'bout the confusion." The Doctor smiled weakly.

"So, I get her away from Fletcher? I save her?"

"…Duh."

"Ok! More motivated now!"

"Good!"

"Alright! What do we do?"

"I'm guessing you have to save yoursel-" The lights flicked on. The Doctor stood up straight and put away his sonic screwdriver. "That was helpful. Ok, you have to save yourself. Just a guess."

"How do I do that!"

"How do I know that?"

"…Touché."

A woman walked out of the gloom and straight up to Skulduggery. "Skulduggery Pleasant?"

"Detective extraordinaire and dashing skeleton at your service."

"Mrs Kilan. Pleasured." She shook Skulduggery's hand. "Aren't you dead?"

"…Um…"

Then, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted herself. "Oh. Past."

"How'd you know?"

She pointed to herself.

"Ah. Anyway, I'm guessing you can help me save myself."

"Sure can."

"Then please, tell."

"Well, I can't bring you totally back to life…" She ambled slowly around the electric chair with a partly burnt, dusty skeleton. "…but I can take your life energy and fix together a soul version of yourself in the middle world."

"…Sounds a bit complicated."

"It is."

"…Oh."

"Shall we get started?" The Doctor beamed.

"Hell yeah!" Skulduggery jumped, ready for action. Then, something dawned on him. "Wait. What do we have to do?"

"Leave the crazy stuff to us." Mrs Kilan from the past and Mrs Kilan from the future walked over to the chair and started talking to The Doctor.

"So, what do I do?"

"Anything you want, Skul."

"_Skul"…. "Skul"….._

It seemed to echo around in his head. Something wasn't right. It couldn't have been…

She hardly knows him.

Why would she call him a nickname?

What the heck is going on?


	11. Chapter 11: The Final Gate Part II

**This is Ash's bit, don't worry! xP I just want to let everyone know that I have not planned any of these and so they may seem a little disjointed at times. I'm too lazy to actually plan them thoroughly. Sorry.**

"So, Mrs… um… Who again?" Skulduggery leaned on the chair and would most probably be smiling down at her. She was crouched on beside the chair with The Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver causing the beautiful yet robotic sound.

"Kilan."

He nodded, making a slight sound of agreement. "Married?" Mrs Kilan nodded. "So what're you doing here?"

She paused.

What exactly was she doing there? She didn't need to help them. She could be living out her own life but her debt had not yet been re-payed. Of course, she couldn't say all of this. This'd give Skulduggery and The Doctor a reason to be suspicious. "I want to help."

"Why?" Skulduggery snapped back, suddenly, as if knowing she was going to say that.

"Because you're in need. And dead."

Skulduggery tapped on his façade to raise his eyebrow. "I'm already dead."

"Well, yes, but you're dead-dead."

"Valid point."

She nodded, going back to work. "So,-"

"Stop with the questions, Pleasant."

"Alright, alright, keep your hair on... I'm just wondering, how long have you known me?"

She sighed, frustrated. "A few years."

_Really? I don't know her- Wait. This is my future, so.._

"How did we meet?"

"The Sanctuary, you bumped into me, pretty pissed."

"As in…" Skulduggery mimed a drinking action. "Or as in…" He randomly punched the air.

"Both."

"Ah… Did I throw up in _your_ shoe, too?"

"No, you didn't."

"…Oh."

"…Yeah…" Skulduggery smiled down at her.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

A few awkward moments passed, but Skulduggery knew exactly what he was doing.

"What! Stop looking at me like that!"

His smile broadened.

"Fine, I was lying. You did throw up in my shoe."

He just stood, smiling down at her.

"Fine, again! Me and you are partners on a case when you got locked up!"

Skulduggery kneeled down to meet her eyes. "Don't lie to me. I don't do getting locked up."

"It wasn't The Sanctuary." She turned her head to face him. "The Dark Temple. You really killed his son. He was in your head to find clues about your past life and turn you into Vile once again…"

Skulduggery stared, wide eyed. "…Ah. So, this is the..."

"Dark Temple? Yeah. Unlucky."

"Mhm…" Skulduggery nodded thoughtfully. "I don't like the thought of dying, you know." He breathed out, standing up yet again and leaning on the arm of the chair, rubbing some of the dust between his fingers. "Not my thing."

"Skulduggery, what I'm doing is very complicated! Please, give me some space!" She grabbed a phone out of her pocket, dialling rapidly. "Hello?" She placed the phone gently against her ear. "I need someone to help. I can't keep Skully off my back! Yeah? Ok. Send her now."

Suddenly, Aislinn appeared in the room, making The Doctor jump. The light from her transportation disappeared gradually. "Ash." Mrs Kilan nodded.

"Kilan." They slowly smiled and hugged. Skulduggery was taken aback only very slightly by how much she seemed like Valkyrie. It all reminded him of why he put up with these guys.

Aislinn had a long grey shirt with a neck-high collar and long sleeves with red lining. She also had black jeans and boots that are folded down at the top. A red ruffle was clipped onto her shirt by bronze buttons going all the way down. She had black leather fingerless gloves and there was a knife sheath on her thigh.

Very much like Valkyrie.

"So, uh, you are…?" Skulduggery smiled weakly at Ash.

"Aislinn Night, you can call me Ash." She smiled back politely.

"So… 'Ash'… you a friend of Kilan here?"

"Mhm." She hummed, picking up some of the skeleton dust in her fingers. It was as fine as sand and slipped slowly, dropping back down onto the chair. "And I'm only here to keep you pre-occupied."

Skulduggery laughed. "I'm not a kid! I don't need to be occupied."

"Oh Skulduggery, so naïve…" She sighed, standing beside him. Mrs Kilan had gone back to doing something with the chair. "This, is gonna hurt."

She grabbed the knife from her leg and stabbed it though his back bone, paralysing him instantly.

He collapsed to the ground as Mrs Kilan look up at her and smiled.

Mrs Kilan grabbed a knife and summoned a dark orb kind of thing into her hand. The knife was I the centre of the orb and it was aiming at her actual 'partner in crime' and The Doctor…

Meanwhile, Skulduggery could see… nothing. Pictures from his past. What he was doing while he was missing. Val was meant to be tracking him down while she was writing, but she got carried away. He returned from his mission. I guess you could say he was blinded by anger after chasing China. That sounds quite poetic. Blinded by anger after chasing China. Heh. But, Skulduggery hadn't really… spoke to Valkyrie after he returned. He certainly regretted it now.

You see, he was in America. Reports of a woman running through the streets came in thick and fast and he followed her wherever she went. Then, she turned up at Valkyrie's door… Guilt and regret stabbed at him, as the life left his body...


	12. Chapter 12: The Final Gate III

**Who liked the confusing turn of events? Anyway, sorry this is short. I figured it's better to show a good short something rather than a long rubbish nothing.**

"I'm sick of this!" Mrs Kilan spat at her two hostages. "Being bossed around by everyone! Being walked all over!" Sighing, a smirk crept across her face. "Now, I'm in charge. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are dead and that Fletcher Renn… That money he paid me… He's going to die too." A manic, insane laugh rocketed from her throat.

Ash stood by Mrs Kilan. "China, I think it's time to finish up here."

"Don't use my name, sweetie."

"But, they should be able to tell who you are by now…"

The woman sighed. "Fine, I'll put the façade down." She tapped a symbol glowing on her arm with her free hand and suddenly, in a flash of light…

..China Sorrows appeared.

Her long, dark hair flowed onto her shoulder and her torn trainers she'd borrowed off Valkyrie still intact. Just about. "I'm sorry about all the confusion, but I am China Sorrows. Skulduggery hunted me for a good while and attacked me when I least expected it. Now it was time for a taste of his own medicine, so to speak." The smirk on her face was evil but The Doctor couldn't help smile.

"My dear, you are beautiful, aren't you?" He grinned, giddy. "I mean… you're just… beautiful!" He got down on one knee. "My beauty, my love, my… um… Saida-"

"China." She sighed.

"My China, marry me!" He begged, bowing to her feet.

"Dear me…" She muttered under her breath, still holding the orb with the knife in it. "Get up!"

The Doctor, the twinkle in his eyes dampened, rose slowly. "But my love-"

"Heard it all before… and besides, you're not my type." The sly, evil smirk on her face grew as she saw, right before her eyes, the Doctors ancient heart break in two. She could feel it, crumbling away just like it was in the palm of her hands.

"You bitch! You beautiful bitch!" He cursed her name. "You're a bitch-"

"Ok, Doctor, remind me who has the knife here."

The Doctor was finally silenced.

"Thank you." She smiled. "Now, for you, Jenkins…" She wondered up to the other woman. Miss Jenkins did all in her power to appear in control. "You… You little bitch… You get it now, don't you?"

Miss Jenkins only spat at her face.

"Tut tut, Alice, no spiting. What would your old mother say?" China sighed, wiping away the saliva on her cheek.

"Don't you dare talk of my mother." She growled through gritted teeth. "She was a better person than you are!"

"Touchy." China's smirk still grew strong. The feeling of power and freedom coursed through her veins and around her body. The greatness she could achive now she held the reigns!

She was in charge now.

No-one was going to change that.

Not now… Right?

Ash smiled to herself, knowing what was to come. Stepping back into the shadows, she apologised…

"China, I'm sorry... You're just too powerful now."

Smiling, China worked through what could be happening in her head. Skulduggery and Valkyrie were dead. Fletcher was no-where in sight. Ghastly and Tanith were at The Sanctuary. Alice Jenkins and The Doctor were right in front of her. Ash was helping her.

**WAIT! **Ash! Aislinn was an "NA". In translation, she was a Nether Agent. She would go and get people to save the people that weren't meant to be dead! She was on a mission a few years ago now to save Skulduggery with Valkyrie and she succeeded… So… Now she was on a mission _with _Skulduggery to_ save_ Valkyrie! But how? They were both dead!

The Doctor smiled then snapped his fingers. The TARDIS doors flung open and two silhouettes stood in the blinding golden light. One was quite tall and seemed to have a tilted at upon his head. The other was a little shorter and seemed to be a girl with long hair.

"It can't be…!"

Everyone else smiled as the light dimmed.

Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain were alive.


	13. Chapter 13: The Silence After The Storm

**SHELIA? BAH! NOT NEEDED!**

"Gah! This can't be!" China gasped. "You can't do this to me!" Hissing these words, she slithered a few steps back.

Skulduggery aimed his revolver at her head. She was just an object to him, just another item to crush. Valkyrie snapped her fingers and fed the spark in her hand her valuable energy and anger, forcing it into a flame to represent her flaming hatred. Yeah. It's just that deep.

"China."

"Skulduggery."

"China."

"Valkyrie." They greeted each other, China regaining her composure.

Skulduggery took off his white, perfect glove with his free hand and threw it at her feet, then his eyes met hers yet again. Round two.

Smirking, she picked up the glove. The smirk grew into an evil, devious smile as the glove in her hand caught a beautiful red flame. China dropped it, letting it float to the ground. As the fire flickered, licking the at the air, it stopped. It was just a red, thorny rose with a stalk, as black as the velvet night sky, lying on the charcoaled ground. Then they were cast back into vicious darkness.

Fire was flung, this way and that. The pitter patter of shoes smacking the ground as people dodged and dived out of the way. Orange, yellow and red filled the room as the fire flew gracefully. It darted from each wall, seeming to bounce as the opponent returned the attack. China threw her orb with the knife and it seemingly lodged it's self into something, something strong.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

Skulduggery's gun was heard.

_Silence._

A bony, gloved hand clicked, illuminating the area. It gripped the orb, stuck to what seemed to be a wall but no. The slightest of sobs could be heard out of the guilty silence. Gripping the knife inside the orb, mumbles and silent raindrops pound upon the world_. _ Whispers cried out. Tears splashed off the floor. The Doctor stood, ready to flee, not knowing who had been hit. It is was Val, he was going to have to make a swift exit. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. "Rest in Peace my friend."

"Thank you." A sob, full of pain. Then a cry of agony as the hand yanked the knife out.

_Silence._

_The smell of ozone on her lips  
>Bottled 'buddies' light in hand <em>_  
>The flashing lightning in her eyes<br>Silence starts to take the land._

_Before I hear the thunder roll  
>the softest drizzle always falls <em>_  
>acidic rain corrodes the night, <em>_  
>trapped inside the taverns walls.<br>_  
><em>The thunder booms in rapid blasts.<br>The ozone smell becomes a stench _ _  
>Hateful drops that leave you drenched. <em>

_No one can reason when she storms  
>Until her every thirst is quenched <em>_  
>the lightning flashes as the thunder <em>_  
>spreads its hate through puckered lips. <em>

_Hours later seeking shelter  
>the storm has come and it has passed <em>_  
>And now there's silence, lonely silence…<em>

… _How long will this silence last?_


	14. Chapter 14: That isn't good

**I lied. Welcome SHELIA!**

The lights flicked on dramatically, everyone stared. The chair still covered in dust and two separate splats of scarlet up the wall and on the floor. Two bodies lay… A long sleeved shirt and a long grey, scarlet stained shirt with a neck-high collar and long sleeves with red lining. It also had black jeans and boots that are folded down at the top. A red ruffle was clipped onto its shirt by bronze buttons going all the way down. It had black leather fingerless gloves and there was a knife sheath on its thigh.

Aislinn…

The second was wearing trousers that were just too short, had long dark locks of hair and a plain T-Shirt. But somehow she still seemed beautiful and peaceful, although there were two bullet wounds in her stomach and one in the chest.

China.

You could only here a slight wheezing from by Ash, as if her lungs were crushed or blocked. S something…

"Sh…Sheila….."

Valkyrie's eyes widened. Only she knew what this meant. If her presumptions were correct, Sheila would come out if Ash's life was in danger. Ash was _dying! _ Sheila was evil! Like…

…Darquesse….

If Valkyrie needed to, she was going get so badly hurt Darquesse would come out and hopefully save the day.

Sheila is Aislinn's sister, enclosed in her. Ash has a yellow seal in her eye, covering most of the pupil and her sister is basically as bad as Darquesse, but not destined to destroy the world. The perfect sparring couple.

Valkyrie knelt by Ash, smiling gently.

"You know, it's funny…" Aislinn choked. "I-I never thought it'd end like this…" Valkyrie smiled, holding her hand as if to hold her back from dying. "I only helped China to… help you. It's the least I owe you." She carried on. "I brought him back from the dead for you and you were understanding… ish." She made a mangled, painful attempt at a laugh, tears now running down her cheeks. "I did run screaming at first. But Ash, you don't owe us anything… I mean, you killed us a few times, yeah. " Valkyrie laughed.

"Val, if you were living, you wouldn't have been able to go and get him, would you? It's a spiritual path, taken in a matter of minutes. With you two, you were so close it only took mere seconds for you to find each other in the spirit world! It was a rare sight…" Ash covered her mouth with her hand as she coughed. Removing it, blood dripped through her fingers, splashing off the stone cold floor. "That's why I made an agreement I was to kill him. It would send him straight to you and bring you back."

"Like maths. A minus and a plus equals a minus. Just swap it round so it's a minus and a minus equals a plus."

"I have no idea what you just said." Aislinn and Valkyrie laughed. "China made herself a façade, knowing it would fool you. She made it while she was 'protecting' your house and sister with symbols. They symbols didn't actually do _anything_. China would go power mad… and there's also something I think you should know now China's going to die too…"

"Go on." Valkyrie smiled warmly, still gripping her hand.

"You see Alice over there? She isn't Alice Jenkins. She's Alice Sorrows. That's why China mentioned her mother. China was adopted and… well… She killed Alice's whole family... and Alice. It's one of the ways you can become an NA. If you prematurely die yourself and you are the only one left in your family."

Miss Jenkins walked over and knelt by China. China was screaming in agony as she pushed a knife into the wounds, forcing the flesh away from each other and allowing the bullet to drive themselves deeper inside. China was weak and fear had filled her beautiful, dark eyes. "Enough of the bullshit, China. I've had it. Time for you to suffer like you made me suffer." Throwing the knife across the floor, not hard enough to hit the others but hard enough to slide away from them, she raised her hands over China's dying corpse.

The bullets rose slowly back from the tunnels they had made. China's body jerk as she screamed out into the never ending silence. Echo…The grains of sand in her hour glass fell to the floor. Tap… tap… tap.

Gone.

China Sorrows, after a long time of storms and riots, is silenced.

Then the calm before the storm kicked in as Aislinn screamed out, nearly breaking Valkyrie's hand. Their attention immediately snapped back to her. "So he had to be dead to pass through the imagination barrier?" Valkyrie asked quickly, trying to keep Aislinn with them. She was bracing herself for Sheila and looked worriedly at Skulduggery. He didn't know. She turned Ash as she coughed up more blood.

Ash could feel the blood slowly filling her lungs and making it harder and harder for her to breathe. They didn't have long. "Y-Yeah." She stuttered, blood spitting accidently. Valkyrie gripped onto her hand tighter as if to reassure her. "I can feel her… She's coming and she's more powerful than ever! Oh god, Valkyrie, Skulduggery, run!"

Ash's grip slowly got tighter and tighter on Valkyrie's hand. Valkyrie tried to pull away but was trapped, noticing Ash's eyes slowly, ever so slowly, changing colour. They were becoming a very light shade of grey, making the seal more noticeable than before. Pure black lines in her eyes seemed to glow as the pupils retracted. Soon enough, all traces of colour have left her eyes, pupil and all. They were as grey as a storm.

Ash's body had stopped all movement. Her hand was still clutched around Valkyrie's but very weakly. Valkyrie gestured for Skulduggery to get back as she herself un-winded her hand from Ash's and took a leap back. He took one big step, silently.

"Val, what's going on…?"

"You know Darquesse?"

"Yeah."

"Basically Ash's version of Darquesse but not destined to destroy the world."

"Ah." He said. "That isn't good."

"Yeah."

"Better brace ourselves then, eh?"

She glanced at him, looking at his crystal blue eyes. He still had his façade up and it was quite strange. Eyes like twinkling crystals but a square jaw. Small pink lips, pale face, tough looking.

Even so, his face wasn't the thing that had disturbed her so. It was the ever so slightly sorrowful taint to his eyes and the disguised sad smirk playing on his small pink lips.

"Oh no, Skulduggery Pleasant, don't you dare! I am the only person here who can beat Shelia and you know it's true!"

"That may be so, but-"

Their argument was cut off by the sharp gasping of a corpse. _Shelia! _There was a hiss. Shelia's body was muscular and kind of bulging with power. Her toned body sat up sharply, breathing in scents of the air around her. "I haven't been here before… Heh, curiouser and curiouser..."

Everyone else left had scarpered. It was just the old team, Valduggery and the new enemy, Shelia Night. Skulduggery turned on his heels as quick as The Flash and pushed Valkyrie into the TARDIS with so much force she fell over on the small walkway leading inside. "Skulduggery, no!" She reached out to him, jumping to her feet and darting towards the TARDIS blue doors.

The doors snapped shut.

Skulduggery looked within himself, deep within his heart and soul. The darkness, the unforgiving darkness… Hidden away out of sight.

Shelia looked at the figure looming in the not so far distance. She smirked, recognising its bony figure and pin-striped hat. She sung in the tune of 'Remember, Remember the 5th of November':

"_Remember, remember, the famous detective. Necromancer, vile and evil. Searching but all the while, that mean old Mister Vile, is hidden inside of you, the weevil."_

Jumping up, she smirked at him as the detective was not a detective anymore. He was in a metal, dark iron maiden two dark glowing eye sockets.

Shelia cackled slightly, her head nodding slowly. Bringing herself to lower her eye contact back to his, she said

"But now, he's come out to play."

**I'm sorry about the next chapter. I'm terrible with fight scenes but I do try, honest!**


	15. Chapter 15: I told you I hate repeats

**You have been warned, folks. I'm bad with fight scenes but I will do my best to satisfy the readers! Woo! OH AND I apologise, Shelia's last name is "Diablos".**

"Play?" Lord Vile questioned. "No my dear, destroy your puny existence." He smiled politely then summoned the shadows. They swirled around him like a tornado, some departing and then flying t'wards Shelia. Fast as lightning, she would dodge and duck, tutting occasionally.

Suddenly, everything came to a stop. No movement, no sound. Nothing. Silence. They stared at each other intensely, waiting for someone to make a sudden movement. Then it all started again, the storm ragged on.

Shelia threw a spear of past fear, hatred and darkness. The power was unbelievable and hit Lord Vile straight in the chest, forcing the suit and Lord inside to fly back to the wall, making a crater. Skid marks on the floor, a body shape in the wall and a man barely standing in between them. The shadows danced over him in such a menacing way that even the Faceless Ones would stay away.

He grabbed the spear with his left hand, gripping it with force that would snap bones. He yanked it out of his armour, grunting at the slight dent. Lord Vile smirked at her stupid, pathetic attempt at an injury.

Who did she think she was? Lord Vile is undefeatable! Not Darquesse, not Shelia, not Skulduggery! No-one could stop him! Once he was done with this little… bug… he would move on to world domination.

He anchored his feet to the ground and threw the spear back with all his might. How ever she did it was a mystery to everyone but the spear appeared to go slower than ever before. Lord Vile went to throw his soldiers at her, force them to attack but found himself moving at snail's pace. He ran forward, only being able to take one step in a minute.

Shelia simply yawned, yoinked the spear from mid-air as if it was a feather floating by in the summer breeze and stuck it back into him. Her hand was still firmly gripped on it as she twisted it, finding a way inside the armour. He smiled…

Shelia was thrown back by a wall of shadows to the other wall, crashing into it. Dazed and injured, Shelia fell to the floor momentarily. Looking up at him, she growled and ran at him as he did the same.

As soon as they were in range, Shelia threw a punch. Lord Vile ducked just in time and kicked her in the gut. She was forced back a little but dropped to the floor as Lord Vile did a roundhouse kick. Jumping to her feet, still crouching, and swung her left leg around where his feet were, Lord Vile being dragged to the floor by his heavy armour.

"Time to say goodbye, Viley."

He stayed silent. She held a knife, holding the handle in her thumb, first finger and middle finger. She flung it into a crack in his armour by the neck.

"Gah!" He yelled, his eyes becoming dilated. He would have been fine… if she hadn't hit his jugular. The last thing he saw was a blurry figure of a woman standing over him, cackling…

Then all of a sudden, Lord Vile seemed to screech and Shelia seemed to cackle again. His eyes focused and the knife flew back to Shelia Diablos's hand. Time was rewinding itself!

Vile jumped up and landed on the floor, falling upwards as Shelia leg sweeped him. He wasn't in control of his body, neither was Shelia by the look on her face. Skulduggery moved to the wall. She ran backwards, then flew forwards, a spear flying into her hand.

Finally, they were at the part just after Skulduggery knocked Valkyrie into the TARDIS.

_**In the TARDIS…**_

Valkyrie whacked the door again, exhausted. She slid down and sat at the bottom, her head in her hands. Valkyrie was having a little girl strop and she was going to enjoy it. Kicking her feet and harassing the floor, she looked up from her tantrum and saw something on the control panel.

A typewriter... and paper…

If her imagination started this, it sure as hell can stop it! However, she didn't know… This wasn't technically her imagination, was it? Standing up, she wandered over to the typewriter. She typed:

_Skulduggery kicked Valkyrie into the TARDIS and faced the person before him. "Well, here we go-" Suddenly, Valkyrie kicked down the TARDIS doors but it wasn't Valkyrie… It was Darquesse._

"Now, we can get the real party started!" She stretched her fingers and laughed wildly.

**I warned you. I've tried to make a good fight scene but it just isn't my nature! .**


	16. Chapter 16

**I am so sorry! I haven't been writing because I've started my GCSE's and have had to do a lot of work. I've forgotten completely… I am SO SO SO SO SORRY! Forgive me? Oh don't be like that! I love you… Forgive me…! Ok? You forgive me? Good.**

"Okay, now payback for Skulduggery locking me in here…"

The Doctor ran from his hiding place, grabbing the TARDIS key from around his neck. It makes him unnoticeable, but not invisible, like the monster that hides in the corner of your eye. He skipped through, Skulduggery and Shelia still dazed. "Don't mind me, just… going."

"Wait! You can't go!" Darquesse said, blocking his path. "We'll be stuck in the future so you put that key right back around your neck right now and go back to your hiding place!"

"…"

"Do it." Snapping her fingers, the TARDIS doors snapped shut. The shadows laughed and danced around The Doctor. Sighing, he put the key back around his neck and let it dangle endlessly. Going around them all and not in-between them like before, he sat back behind the wall. Mumbling, he watched the fight.

"Heads gonna roll tonight, bitch!" Skulduggery said in the gayest voice ever.

"Bring. It. ON!"

"Oo, but girl, you need to check out your nails… They all chipped."

"…"

"…"

They stared at each other, then Darquesse ran up and upper-cutted Shelia. Time slowed dramatically, Shelia flying up into the air drastically, saliva flying from her lips in comically drawn droplets. "HAAAADOOOOUUUUUKAN!" She put her hands together, then splayed them out opposite each other with so much power her wrists started to ache. Shadows flew from the crook in-between her hands like some kind of dark torpedo. Shelia flew back, her body leaving an imprint against the wall. She grunted in pain, a piggish remark for a piggish woman.

Valkyrie laughed to herself, hearing the commotion taking place outside. "Vile, you GAY!" Then she started to lose control… The story was writing its self! However hard she tried, it didn't slow down. She couldn't control Darquesse, Vile or Shelia… This couldn't be too good, could it?

Shelia spat blood, wiping the scarlet from her mouth. "What you didn't know, Valkyrie, is I have a secret weapon…"

Shelia stared at Vile. Seemingly right into his soul… Then he stopped. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. Something was crawling up inside of him, stopping him dead in his tracks…

"What are you doing to him?" Darquesse cried, running at Shelia. She tackled her to the floor, but she was too late…

Regaining some control of Darquesse and Darquesse alone, Valkyrie used her to get the answers.

"What did you do to him!"

"Why don't you take a look?"

Darquesse sat on Shelia's hips and gathered the sharpest of her shadows, forcing them into a weapon. "I'd rather not. Tell me…"

"Well, you know when Bespoke made himself a statue for… ages?"

"…"

"Yeah."

Dropping the spear, she ran over to his side. She was right… He was stone… You couldn't tell as the armour blocked away all his skin. Shelia placed her hands flat out on the cold floor and pushed herself off the ground. Resuming a standing position, she cackled an evil cackle. "Reverse it…" Whispered Darquesse.

"I'm sorry, little girl, I can't hear your plea…"

"_Reverse it_." She said, a little louder.

"Poor little girl… Is your daddy gone now?"

"**Reverse it!**" She screeched, running at Shelia. She shoulder barged her into the wall. Shelia screamed out, a sickening snap ringing out into the darkness. Sliding down the black, cold, stone wall, Shelia started to pant. She grasped her chest, holding the life inside of her. "First, Ash. Now Skulduggery!? How dare you! _How DARE you! _You don't have the right… You don't have the right to end these lives! Especially not Skulduggery's! How dare you!_"_

Shelia cackled, her head rising slightly. A smirk crept across her darkly tinted lips. "He's stone. There isn't a reverse button."

"What…"

"There is no reverse. He's a statue."

Valkyrie tried to snap out of her trance, pull away from whatever force was making her continue writing. Taking control was the only option.

The only option possible.


	17. Chapter 17: Nearly Finished Now

**To kind of make up for not writing constantly, I'll add a little game to some fan fictions. How does that sound? There will be many references in this. If you get them all (do not put them in the reviews, please!), you get a mention in the next fan fiction! Sound fair to you? Good. Some are obvious, some not so. **_**Most**_** are from books, or even just the titles.**

Valkyrie tightly clenched her eyes shut, her dark black eyelashes glimmering in the golden light of the TARDIS. Her fingertips were aching and bruised. "After all of this," Valkyrie muttered under her breath, "after all you've done to save me, I'm not letting you slip from my grasp." Her delicate eyelids opened violently, her dark eyes glaring at the blank space in front of her. "Skulduggery Pleasant, you hang on in there." Valkyrie continued glaring, her fingertips only slowing by about a 4 milliseconds.

"The man who lived had come to die…" Shelia taunted. "Do you like this taunting? I don't see how this makes any difference to me or to you, but I find it… amusing." A small, devious chuckle escaped from Shelia's slightly scarlet stained mouth.

"Here's taunting for you, bitch." Darquesse growled. "If you don't start begging this very second, this _very second,_ you'll regret the day you stepped foot on this Earth."

"Dear Darquesse, can't you see? You are! You eat, shoot and leave. Just like me."

"Way to kill a Mockingbird."

"Now, enough of this! I'm restless. Entertain me."

"Do you think I'm a dancing monkey?"

"Yes."

"If I'm going to die, I want to still be me." Darquesse growled, "I'm not just a piece in your games." Rage flowed through her blood. It slowly channelled its way through the intertwining ribbons of red and blue and up into her heart.

_B-boom, b-boom. _

I'm sure everything will be fine.

_B-boom, b-boom. _

Ash is still over there.

_B-boom, b-boom. _

Skul's fine.

_B-boom, b-boom._

And definetly…

_B-boom, b-boom. _

... not…

_B-boom, b-boom._

…a…

_B-boom, b-boom._

… **STATUE!**

Darquesse shrieked a horrendous war cry, grabbing Shelia up from the ground. The stone behind her seemed to hold her shape again as Darquesse rammed her into it multiple times.

Once. Twice. Three times.

Shelia just laughed.

She laughed, and laughed and laughed. Little did Valkyrie know Shelia could change Skulduggery back. Of course she could! What kind of person would she be if she didn't have a back-up plan? It wasn't a back-up plan to be fair, she didn't want to change him back. If she did, he'd help Darquesse, and then kill her. Either way, this wasn't going to turn out well for Shelia.

"So, Val…"

"It's Darquesse."

"No… You see, any second now, because of my taunting Val will start regaining control, bring Vile back and… Yeah."

"Bulls-"

"Language."

"Whatever!"

"Look, I don't like the idea either. So that's why, I'm doing this…" She slowly crept over to the TARDIS, opening the doors left slightly ajar. "Hello, Valkyrie."

Darquesse suddenly jumped into action, the metaphorical ropes wrapping around her arms and legs, controlling her like a puppet in a show. Thank god, Val. Finally gained control.

But.

She was concentrating way too much on it to notice what she was actually writing. To notice what Shelia had said. To notice what Shelia was doing.

Shelia stood silently at the door, the shadows elegantly wrapping around her forehead and eyes. Not a sound slithered from her lips, not a word. Darquesse stood back slightly, not knowing what Shelia was planning to do, but knowing any sudden movements would cause a definite attack. "Shelia, what does Valkyrie have to do with anything?"

"You know what this whole thing's about, Darquesse. You're like that niggling little voice in the back of her head."

Val could not control what Shelia said, only Darquesse's words and actions.

"Valkyrie writes. So what?"

"…Well, her stories have seeped into reality, breaking the boundaries of true and false. This is what this whole thing has been about! It needs to be set right. Skulduggery and Valkyrie will remember nothing, only us. Ash will be fine, and also remember nothing."

"Bullsh-"

"Language."

Silence fell over them as Darquesse processed this information. Maybe this could be true, maybe. It's just lucky Valkyrie gained control or Darquesse would have easily sacrificed her life and Skulduggery's.

"Might rid her of her crazy Deadbeat Boyfriend."

"Not that Darquesse cares."

"Whatever, Shelia!"

"It's just Valkyrie, poor little Valkyrie."

"I'm taller than you."

"No you aren't."

"I am."

"Do you want me to kill you?"

"No."

"Look, I've already explained this already! Valkyrie, you've created a parallel universe. A parallel universe based around YOUR imagination and if it exists for much longer, I'm not sure of the world's outcome. You've fucked the world up!"

"So what's killing me going to do about it?" Darquesse grabbed Shelia by the throat and held her back with all the strength she could. "There's no way you're killing me. It's_ not_ happening!"

Shelia did little to fight against Darquesse's power and watched Valkyrie type away. "You're ripping a hole in the time space continuum. I swear, you're making it bigger each second."

The Doctor walked from his old hiding place and leaned on the TARDIS door, smirking thoughtfully at the ground while rubbing his chin. "It seems she has a point. I knew I was here for something more. If I was just here to escort Skulduggery, it wouldn't make any sense, would it?"

"It would in his head."

"But now this is reality."

"Darquesse, I think Shelia's being truthful. I can feel a rip in the fabric of space and time." He repositioned himself and stood up normally. He carefully straightened his red bowtie and his twead jacket, then turning on his heels. "A... little bit to the left."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Cain. Great name that, by the way. But back to my point, Shelia's right. There's a 90% chance if you are killed in the exact spot of the rip in the fabric of space and time, everything will revert back to normal. I can leave, Skulduggery and you will die, also dragging Shelia, Darquesse and Vile with you guys through to your normal time, leaving everything to fix itself. You see, time is like a big ball of wibbley wobbley timey wimey… stuff. It'll straighten it's self out if you give it the chance."

"Fine. But only because Skulduggery trusts you, Doctor."

"Come along, Cain."

Valkyrie stopped typing, losing her control over Darquesse. Darquesse let go of Shelia, a kind of hidden anger burning behind her eyes.

Valkyrie stood in front of The Doctor and shrugged. "A little to the left." She stepped to the left.

"Um... Little more…" She took a smaller step to the left. "Perfect."

The Doctor stepped into his TARDIS. "Now, I shall be off. Good luck, Cain. You too… Um… Shelia."

"It's Diablos."

"Sorry, Diablos."

"It's okay."

The TARDIS doors snapped shut ferociously, leaving the echoing sound of a slam. With the familiar but indescribable sound, the TARDIS's light flashed a gentle dark blue and the TARDIS it's self faded in and out of existence. It disappeared.

"Now it's just us."

Vile dropped to the floor with a terrible clash of metal upon metal. He was unconscious. Valkyrie ran to his side as the metal retracted into thin air and left only the handsome skeleton underneath. Valkyrie looked up, holding Skulduggery's skull on her lap as if for comfort. She found herself looking directly down the barrel of a revolver, which looked distinctively like Skulduggery's.

"Hasta la vista."

_Bang._


End file.
